Sin, Zero, Laura Palmer.

Yes, Yes, YES! I'd hit that for sure!

Sin City, 2005, directed by Frank Miller and Robert Rodriguez.
Written by Frank Miller
starring: Bruce Willis, Jessica Alba, Mickey Rourke, Jamie King, Clive Owen, Brittany Murphy

"A film that explores the dark and miserable town, Basin City, and tells the story of three different people, all caught up in violent corruption." (IMDB).

This is enjoyable; visually, narratively, viscerally, all. I'm not a huge graphic novel reader, but I loved the look and feel of this film--all the black and whites (with reds and yellows thrown in for accent), splattering blood, how everyone was strikingly beautiful, even most of the hoodlums. And for some reason, the voiceover narratives really got me, I liked them a lot. I think probably because of all the sarcasm (precursor for Dexter's?)

My favorite section was Clive Owen (Dwight) joining forces with the professionals of Old Town: ("she made him into a pez-dispenser!") And the bit with the limb-devouring Elijah Wood was also good. Bookend scenes with Josh Harnett really made for a great open and close, it's a visually skillful, fun film. I think this might be the best thing on the LLL list; I recommend it highly.

No, no, NO!

Less Than Zero, 1987, directed by Marek Kanievska.
Written by Bret Easton Ellis (novel) and Harley Peyton (screenplay).
Starring: Andrew McCarthy, Jami Gertz, Robert Downey Junior.

"A college freshman returns to L.A. for the holidays at his ex-girlfriend's request, but discovers that his former best friend has an out-of-control drug habit." (IMDB).


This is so uncomfortable. I don't know which is worse, Jami Gertz's acting, the absolute legitimacy of RDJ's playing the addict, Julian, or FUCKING ANDREW MCCARTHY'S SWEATY, TONGUE-Y SEX SCENES. He was the same in St. Elmo's Fire, you'll probably remember. Stop it.

I actually welcomed the always-slimy James Spader just because it meant the other fools would shut up for 30 seconds. And literally had to look away for fear of heaving each time Clay (McCarthy) and Blair (Gertz) would start making out. . . YUCK.

The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer, 1990, written by Jennifer Lynch.

Yeesh. I hadn't read this in forever and then picked it up after FWWM last week; I don't think I can find anything nice to say about it. I guess it was interesting finding out the initials of all the people Laura slept with, but the characterizations of everyone, BOB, Leland, Bobby Briggs, and especially Jacques and Leo really seemed random and choppy, not at all like the characters we got to know in the series.

So I don't think it's exceptional writing, like, at all, and it's almost giving too much away, but this doesn't stop me from treasuring the two I own. . . it's about Twin Peaks and it's a book (!)

Machete part 2.

So. Now that I was able to express my aesthetic infatuation with the film, I suppose it's only right that I talk about the other part, the politics.

Aside from calling male filmmakers out on portraying female characters as glory holes, I try to keep this blog light-hearted. But it would be irresponsible of me to yammer on and on about Machete without mentioning the bigger message of the film, which is the immigration issue.

I'm staying neutral in it, but the film definitely causes one to examine what (illegal) Mexican labor means in this country. I think it was the Hungarian bodyguard that said something to the effect of, "you know, we let them build our houses, maintain our lawns, cook our food, take care of our children, but we won't let them be citizens? It doesn't really make any sense." The photo above is of Senator John McLaughlin (DeNiro), whose platform happens to be an electric fence along the US/Mexican border.

My brother deals with this all the time as a chef and a restaurant manager--it's worth considering what would happen if all of a sudden one day every illegal worker just upped and walked off the job. . .

The film showed Mexican day laborers swarming in a huddle, waiting anxiously for someone to come by and offer them work. Luz, Michelle Rodriguez's character, was in charge of The Network, which helped immigrants get across the border to find housing and permanent jobs. It may have been a very specific cross section of the population, and I don't know how realistic it was (I live in Minnesota, far from any state that shares the Mexican border) but the film showed people who wanted to work, who wanted as Luz said, to escape their own personal hells. The standoff at the end is between the illegals and the vigilantes who had been hunting them, interestingly enough, started by Sartana Rivera the Immigration Special Agent (Alba) who incites them to rally, "We didn't cross the border, THE BORDER CROSSED US!" Earlier she had explained to Machete, "the system works here," but apparently changed her mind. Now that I think about it, her change of heart came a little out of no where, but dammit, that battle had to happen somehow, right?

(I can already see Donald shaking his head at all the rule-breaking. . . )

So yeah. I guess there will be things that will certainly bother a lot of viewers about this stuff, but remember, it's a STORY. I don't think realism was what Rodriguez was going for (Machete uses assailant's small intestine for an escape vine out window); wasn't there some bit about Bin Laden in Planet Terror? Zombie Bin Laden?

I don't have a problem with it. But I live in Inception, remember? And sorry, but there is something appealing to me in imagining what would happen if the Edina sector had to suddenly mow their own lawns, cook their own food, and raise their own children. . .

When September Ends. . .

If there is one thing I can't stand, it's an unfinished to-do list. So I'm extending my September media items through the weekend so I can get to them in good time without having to rush. Despite having picked some real S-H-I-tut for reading material this month, I have had extremely good fortune with William Styron (author of Sophie's Choice) who I may actually be in love with; I'm also planning on watching the film even though I know it's going to make me very uncomfortable. I'm quite looking forward to hearing Meryl's Polish accent though, when she's not sharing the screen with Amy Adams, she's aces in my book.

Also: September being Hispanic heritage month and all, I took up with KINGPIN (the mini-series, not the Randy Quaid/Woody Harrelson) last night. There are three disks, I got them all in a set when Hollywood on Lyndale went out of business earlier this year. It's good! If you like The Godfather, The Sopranos, or Breaking Bad, seriously, give this a try. Danny Trejo and Sheryl Lee are so far, awesome.

Speaking of my boy, Danny, I am actually going to try very hard to see Machete again before October. I just wasn't able to write about it when I got home from seeing it before, nice writer, right? I just burst in the door, Matt could see that I obviously had been crying, and I walked around in a daze for about an hour, trying to explain just how great the film had been but unable. Yes, Machete made me cry. Well, Rodriguezes (Michelle and Robert) made me cry, put it that way. I will write it up, I promise.

MOVING ON:

Thanks everyone who sent me recommendations for "Scariest Film Ever" project. I took them to heart and I've even made a calendar! Some I am looking forward to a lot. Others I am dreading, but I'm a girl of my word, and if I can find them, I'll watch them. I'm just glad no one brought up Paranormal Activity, because I will not watch it. EVER. Once my other list is finished, I'm starting on yours.

However, these are some that did not make the cut this year for whatever reason. Some (like Fright Night) I feel like I write about every other month anyway, if you really want more on any of these, check the 80s horror tag in the labels section over on the right side, I'm sure there's plenty.

1. The Halloween Series (and we're talking John Carpenter, Rick Rosenthal, and Tommy Lee Wallace directing, not Rob Zombie.)
I think these were scary. They were part of that early 80s horror wave that had a tan, grainy look to everything and were just very unsettling.

Michael Myers peeking out from behind the bush and then up from the clothes line outside the window to stalk Laurie Strode? That's a very real, very disturbing kind of horror. That mask is gross. His slow, deliberate movements are scary, especially in the hospital setting in the second film. Somehow the scalpel as a weapon has always really bothered me. The third film was a kind of black sheep, not having anything to do with Michael Meyers or Laurie Strode, but it's still damned creepy. All those little dolls, and robots in that giant factory? And the turning of human beings into what, fleshy roach and worm havens when the laser on the mask "activates"? Yuck. I still remember that long fingernailed hand hanging off the car door at the end, grasping at nothing and then attacking Dr. Challis, or the way the eyes moved back and forth on the severed head lying on the ground. . .

2. Nightmare on Elm Street series. Ah, yes: comedy and horror combine! I found these to have scary moments also, especially the first one. The boiler room played a pretty major part in the first film, giving it a dirty, boiler-y feeling. I think of Freddy making the finger-knives contraption at the opening (with all the grunting) and just shudder. And the creepy hall monitor? One of my favorite moments. I think just before her scene there was another with a student in Nancy's class, reading from Hamlet, maybe? He started out reading normally, but when Nancy falls asleep and starts dreaming, his voice gets very throaty and creepy ". . . because I have bad dreeeeeaaaaaaams!" That part has always bothered me, Tina levitating around in the body bag also. Loved the three-foot long arms in the ally on Freddy.

The second film had some interesting items but was mostly bad: little girl at the breakfast table with sharp, pink plastic fingers she picked out of the cereal box? THESE ARE MY FOO-MAN FINGERS! Robert Rusler as the smokin' hot friend (you may remember him from Weird Science as Mad Max). . . that's about all. Nancy comes back for the third film to join Patricia Arquette and the kid that played Eyeball Chambers in Stand By Me, blah, blah, blah, although I did enjoy the little Elm Street House Kirsten made out of popsicle sticks, good craftmanship. Freddy starts with the comical taunts as he slaughters; "I said, 'where's the fuckin' bourbon?'" "Welcome to the Prime Time, Bitch!"

Four and Five were forgettably bad. Freddy's Dead had a few chuckles (You're Fucked on the map was my personal favorite; "yeah, well, the map says we're fucked!") but that q-tip getting jammed into Carlos's ear was just awful. "You better speak up, looks like you caught my deaf ear!" Freddy exclaims while jiggling around the hearing aid. Yeee. New Nightmare scared me a little, just because of how it steps outside the film franchise and *attempts* reality film, which, as a concept, was still in its infancy in 1994. Anyway, I like Wes Craven, I think he's all right.

3. Friday the Thirteenth Series. Now I know most people out there don't find any of these scary at all, and okay, maybe not, but trust me, there are creepy parts in these films, especially the early ones. Mrs. Voorhees? "Get her mommy, get her, don't let her get away! Kill her, Mommy, KILL HER!" Yuck. There is a part in the very first film where the mother is looking for Alice, discovers that she's in the closet with the door barricaded, chops all of the stuff out of the way and then does this disgusting excited smirk-sigh when she finally sees her hovering in a corner inside. Fucking GROSS! Charlie made me watch that face, probably ten times in a row, rewind, rewind, rewind. Ugh.

There's also a part in the second film where Amy and Paul go back to the cabin after running through the woods. Everyone else is dead, and they're planning their escape or standoff, whichever, and Amy suddenly stops and says, "Something's not right. Something's not right in here, Paul." Yes, well, Jason in his dish towel face-wrapping (this was before the hockey mask years) was lurking in the corner, so yes, something definitely was not right. I just think it was a really real response to what was going on, and it showed that danger could almost be palpable or something. Heavy, I know.

4. 28 Days Later. I think I watched this for the first time in Hawaii. And I was actually terrified. INFECTED-eds! There is no humor in this film whatsoever, which usually is the way of Zombie films, whether or not it's intentional. I have not seen the sequel, nor do I plan to. . .

5. Fright Night. I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is seriously one of my favorites. "Hello, Charlie. I know you're there. I can see you." Long fingernails pulling down the window shade? Chris Sarandon as Vampire Jerry Dandridge is kind of sexy. I said kind of; Eric Northman was still decades off at this point so you had to take it or leave it. Evil Ed? Great lines. +50 for Marcy Darcy as Amy. Red eyes shining in the dark next door at the end still freak me out. . .

6. Alone in the Dark. Now, I haven't actually seen this one, but it's part of a compilation documentary on horror films that I have seen (see #7 below), and the scenes from it have always scared me. Martin Landau apparently plays some escaped mental patient who, together with two others, stalks his psychiatrist. The only scene I can remember is Landau becoming obsessed with the mail carrier's hat and then running the guy down with his van in order to swipe it off his head. Has anyone seen this?

7. Terror in the Aisles. If you like 80s horror, watch this. It's one of my favorites, and will forever remind me of the video store when it was inside 9th Street Boutique. Charlie, Erica, and I watched this I'm sure a hundred times (which was normal, if we liked a film).

Girls, Girls, Girls.

All the best girls are in Tarantino and Rodriguez films.

In Planet Terror and Machete, they get to kick ass despite physical disabilities.

Rose McGowen has never looked hotter, nor has Freddie Rodriguez, actually. I loved them together in this-- best sex scene I've ever seen. I think it was the music. Or the editing; it added a lot.

Of course I loved the fat little foetus-baby in the carrier at the end (!) Like Machete, this film is my idea of perfection. The women were able and intelligent, and hello, SAYID! The whole hospital segment in the beginning was completely remeniscent of Halloween 3, Season of the Witch, right down to Josh Brolin (as Tom Atkins who played Dr. Dan Challis) and the Carpenter-esque music going on? Right on.

The little nods to Tarantino were cool. Not just having him cameo as the disgusting rapist, but Dakota's list on the tiny memo pad? (1. Get Tony's cereal. 2. Get crickets for Tony's pets. 3. KILL BILL.) You have to be a nerd and pause it to see the full list because it's only on for a second or two. And the close up on the needle as Dr. Bill attempts to plunge it into Dakota (Mia Wallace's OD). And Earl the Sheriff (from Kill Bill). Cool.

Cherry Darling was cool too, and not just a glory hole. Cool as in Beatrix Kiddo or Jackie Brown or Sartana Rivera. These are women who know things, women who do things. One of my professors had a problem with these portrayals, he thought they weren't real and could never be. That it was unfair for the directors to hold women up like this, on a pedestal.

Maybe. But what about THIS?

  

Machete: Bulls Eye.

Machete: Bulls Eye.

Opening credits = absolutely amazing. Don Johnson is a great villain.

Machete: Bulls Eye.

 

I am seriously considering going again.

This is Exciting. . .

Jeff Fahey apparently has a big role in it, too!
See you there?

all things that are good

O Brother Where Art Thou?
Planet Terror
Bird by Bird (Anne Lamott)
A Good Man is Hard to Find (Flannery O'connor)



George Clooney is fricking hilarious as an idiot. I hope he does many more pictures with the Coens. The thing I loved most about O Brother was the music, or just generally watching George Clooney be an idiot. He does a great idiot as Miles Massey in Intolerable Cruelty too. The best scene for me was in Woolworth's was when he leaned in close to Holly Hunter saying, "I have travelled many a weary mile to be with my wife and my six girls. . . " and she gives him a look like she might rip his clothes off and make out with him but really she's super pissed at him and keeps telling the daughters how he was hit by a train. If I was Holly Hunter I probably would have wanted about 45909 takes of that scene. The Coens have a great way of seeing the ridiculous humor in life, even if it's a dark humor. Things still pretty much end okay in their films.

Robert Rodriguez really knows how to make a film. Planet Terror for me was like Halloween 3, Season of the Witch but done well and with zombies instead of robots. I have to protest a little with the kid shooting his head off in the car, just because it's really disturbing and I don't know necessary (better than being ripped apart by zombies?). Or is he putting the blame on the mother for leaving him in that car, alone with a loaded gun? Maybe old man Brolin got him, who knows. Even though I know that Rodriguez has 4 boys and that he'll know things and make decisions (re: kids in film) in a different way than the childless Tarantino, it seems to me Tarantino and Uma Thurman had more rapport going when it came to being parentally sensitive. I don't think any **actual** mother would have left her child alone in the car where zombies might get him, especially with a loaded gun. (Blind Mary INgalls leaving the baby in the burning school while she helps OTHER KIDS? No.) Hit the road and don't look back, DAKOTA. See? Beatrix Kiddo would never have done that.



A Good Man is Hard to Find: Very, very disheartening. Who shoots babies? Is the theme of this story that these kids were brats, the parents didn't teach them to be better, more respectful, so they had it coming? Very disturbing. I thought of how stories like these are realistic, in the run of things, since the world is so full of disturbing events, normally. To deny this is to deny reality. I just don't know if I like read about it or watch it, this disturbing reality. I sometimes prefer my rose-colored false reality where everything is all right, people are basically good at heart, and love is enough.

Which brings me to Anne Lamott. I loved her book, Bird by Bird, but I got the distinct feeling that she has led a very jaded, manic life. Does everything have to be so damned dismal? She's very clever and a great teacher of the craft of writing, but sometimes I had to wonder if someone with a more optimistic approach could have written the same thing with a more uplifting, positive feel to it. You can tell right away if someone is pissed at the world. . . I think she might be.