Tuesday, September 30, 2008

The horror list

1. April Fools' Day
2. Christine
3. Terror in the Aisles
4. When a Stranger Calls
5. The Silence of the Lambs
6. Se7en
7. Psycho 2
8. The Exorcist
9. Cat's Eye
10. The Twilight Zone Movie
11. Fire Walk With Me
12. Doctor Sleep/Close Your Eyes
13. Children of the Corn
14. Misery
15. Psycho 3
16. Friday the Thirteenth
17. Hannibal
18. A Nightmare on Elm Street
19. The Shining
20. Scream
21. I Know What You Did Last Summer
22. Fright Night
23. Friday the Thirteenth part 2
24. Psycho 4: The Beginning
25. Pet Semetary
26. Cujo
27. A NIghtmare on Elm Street part 2
28. Red Dragon
29. Friday the Thirteenth part 3
30. Scream 2
31. Halloween 3: The Season of the Witch

Twin Peaks episode 1

airdate: April 12, 1990
director: Duwayne Dunham
writers: David Lynch, Mark Frost

Summary: Cooper receives the preliminary autopsy report; Shelley finds Leo's bloody shirt; Cooper watches the video of Laura at the picnic; James, Bobby, and Mike are released; Pete discovers a fish in his percolator; Catherine and Ben plot to burn the saw mill; Deputy Hawk sees the one-armed man; the Log Lady promises that "one day my log will have something to say;" Leo beats Shelley; Dr. Jacoby has the necklace.

*** Three star rating. Stab it and steer.

Notes: Cooper seems intrigued and suspicious of Audrey immediately. Leo's truck is "Big Pussycat." Laura and Donna's dancing is heinous. People around here say "not exactly" a lot. Josie slinking around the house in her scant nightgown is rather inappropriate. Bright red dress? (Lil?) Ronnette's father's tone is amusing, "she used to joke, it was the sweetest-smelling job she ever had. . . " Was it a rule that all women had to wear knee-length skirts? I enjoy Behmer as Ben Horne. Norma seems cold toward Cooper until he orders more pie. Good code red with the soap in the sock when Leo assults Shelley. Was Leo an ex-Marine like Bobby Peru? Dr. Jacoby has an obnoxious way of eating.

Best Lynch moment: Cooper and Audrey: DO YOUR PALMS EVER ITCH?


New Characters: The "Bookhouse Boys," the one-armed man

Coffee, pie, or doughnut references: 9

Plans for October

31 Days of Twin Peaks and nostalgic horror films.

more to follow as details come available.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Who Moved My Cheese?

This is probably the most ridiculous thing I've ever read, right up there with Men Are From Mars. . . .
They brought it out in video form about four years ago when I was working at Northwest Airlines, and
I felt the same way about it then.

This is what I see the author saying when pitching this to an agent:
This book is for all the executives of the companies who are going to need to be outsourcing and laying off in the up-and-coming bad economy months, and they can just give this book to the people they're going to can. It's written in really childish language and it has a great moral dilemma to it that these peons will appreciate and this will make them forget all about being laid off. What this book does is throw it back in their court: it's not the businesses that are at fault by laying people off and eliminating jobs, it's the PEOPLE's faults. They need to learn to not have expectations; we need to try to explain to them that having expectations makes them lesser humans. They need to realize that everything negative that happens to them is actually deserved by some weakness within themselves. Just insert the pink slip INSIDE the book and leave it in the employees' mailboxes.


Friday, September 19, 2008

My Favorite Potter

We watched a few minutes of "Order of the Phoenix" tonight, the ending scene. It makes me cry every time.
I think it's some of the best storytelling/filmmaking I've ever seen.

1. SIRIUS: GET AWAY FROM MY GODSON! (smacks Lucius right in the face).

2. Bellatrix LeStrange. WONDERFUL in every scene she has. I love HBC, she was perfect as Bella.

3. Sirius's nonverbal spells while dueling Lucius. Apparently Harry picks up on how to do nonverbals as well? Last two blows before his death (to Lucius) are lovely.

4. Lupin holding Harry as he cries for Sirius. The overlapping of shots and no sound but the sad music is also beautiful.

5. Voldemort waving away Harry's wand. Dumbledore emerging from the flu network. Voldemort having the confidence to battle with Dumbledore. The wand noises, the fiery snake, the electric shocks when the wands connect, the big water ball, and Voldemort trying to curse Harry from within it.

6. My favorite, FAVORITE scene in the entire film is when V draws in the energy from Dumbledore's spell and then flails his arms out and yells, sending it all out everywhere throughout the ministry, breaking all the glass, shattering everything, everywhere. It is seriously AMAZING. I wish I could do that, but for good instead of evil.


I am having a few issues with the show "Bringing Home Baby," lately. I'm not trying to get up on my high horse or anything, but the people they have on this show most of the time are seriously the dumbest people I've ever seen. I mean, half the time I'm wondering how the hell most of them even had the know-how to CONCEIVE, let alone change a damned diaper. To be fair, these people probably have been reading about how most newborn babies eat every 4 hours and then wonder why the baby is screaming to eat when it had just been fed 90 minutes ago. . . .but I guess that's a lesson every parent has to learn on their own.

Another thing that bothers me is how many of these families are filled with DOGS!!! DOGS ALL OVER THE HOUSE, yipping, smelling, snarling at the babies! Oh I just want to gag. Get those disgusting dogs away from the damned INFANT! Gross. The dude on today was this totally anally rententive germophobe who was completely freaking out about germs and dirt and people using hand sanitizer (a goddamned INSURANCE ADJUSTER no less, so a slippery, dishonest, GOBLIN to boot) but yet was completely fine with about 4 disgusting yippy dogs all over the place. I just wanted to reach through the television and slap him.

I couldn't handle any more so I flipped ahead one station to A&E, what a pleasant surprise to find The Sopranos on! Why hadn't I been watching that instead? With my mood being very combative and foul (after the douche on Bringing Home Baby) the violence and darkness was a welcome change.


Thursday, September 18, 2008

Burn vs. Enemy

1. Burn After Reading. hee hee hee. I never thought it would be possible, but they made Clooney look so ridiculous that he was completely unattractive to me. Brad Pitt was absolutely GROSS, but entertaining. McDormand stole the show. True to form, I was not that totally impressed by the film but know that I'll love it 50 times more the next time I see it.

2. MOVING ONTO THE VERY FILM THEY WERE PROBABLY MOCKING. . . . . Enemy of the State. Isn't it funny how years ago, when I first saw this (in the theater), I thought it was super awesome. . . . I am watching it right now and am 30 seconds away from turning it off and peeing on the disk. Now that I've been trying to write more and more, the whole method of storytelling going on in this film, especially the beginning, seems to be very, very childish. They can't find an interesting way of **showing** us the history between Robert and Rachel (Will Smith and Lisa Bonet) so they have to come out with every single detail, outright, and with horrid, obvious, stupidity. The credits, though probably cutting edge at the time, are cheesy and Bruckheimer-ridiculous, together with the bad emotional-rise theme music. Will Smith's lines are lame. The only things enjoyable are Jason Lee (fuck a duck! HOLY SHIT! after seeing the murder on his goose-tape) and the innocent bystander telling Will Smith about some guy on a bike "getting creamed."

Thursday, September 11, 2008

the constant gardner

hmmmm. this was a very good film but a huge downer.
i have decided that i don't really like mass conspiracy theory/mass public health scare/political thrillers anymore as they
tend to put a damper on my optimism.

ralph fiennes has a very nerdy hotness about him, not as picture perfect as his brother joseph, of course, but nice.

rachel weiz is wonderful. she was in the mummy films? what the hell?!?!?!?