Monday, December 31, 2007

It's Official

YEp. the show has pretty much taken over my life AND thoughts and I am obsessed with it. It happened with 24 to the point where it would seep into my dreams every single night and I would dream myself as one of the characters. While I am praying that it doesn't happen with Dexter (no serial killer dreams) I am 1 episode away from the end of season 2 and I am LOVING it. To agree with Trent from Pink is the New Blog, this is easily the best show on television now. I'm almost annoyed I'm coming so late into the game here. I have a few ideas on how they will try to tie up the last episode but I am keeping them to myself as Matt hasn't seen 22 and 23 yet and I cheated and watched them both this afternoon by myself. More on the finale tomorrow.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Kids films that bug me......

I know, I know, everyone thinks Pixar is this godlike entity but The Incredibles seriously bored the hell out of me. I think I laughed maybe once if at all. The best things I can say about it is yes, it's smart and original and I do appreciate the jabs at the insurance industry but the overall impression was one of overwhelming blah-ness. And I really don't get that it was made for kids; much of the subject matter is way over even a dim adult's head. Too scary and not funny enough. Brad Bird should stick to short segments or television.

Another institution of my generation but simply put, I just sneer every time the stupid elephant is on screen. They just make him look so ridiculous and foolish and not cute at all. Something about the way his eyes are animated seriously rubs me the wrong way and prevents me from any sentimentality at all, even when the kids and bitchy old elephants are being mean to him. I seem to allign myself with the mother and pity her for the fact that her uncute, disabled elephant freak son forces her to be ostracized.

A real double-whammy here. I don't know who/what is worse, this ridiculous pig and its ANNOYING voice or dakota fanning. that's really all I can say.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

MY scariest moments in horror films

1. Norman's face and mother's superimposed at the end of Psycho.
2. That creepy hall moniter in Nightmare on Elm Street, "Hey Nancy, NO RUNNING IN THE HALLWAYS...."
3. Emma Spool all hunched over coming to kill the pot smoking kids in Psycho 2
4. That crazed doppelganger chasing after the dude at the end of The Twilight Zone episode "Mirror Image."
5. The infected-s running up all of a sudden to the darkened house in 28 Days Later when they see the candle inside.
6. Mrs. Voorhees grabbing Kevin Bacon-bits from under the bed in the first Friday the 13th.
7. Mrs. Voorhees' fricking MOUTH chanting the words "KILL HER MOMMY! GET HER! KILL HER! KILL HER!!"
8. Amy and Paul in the cabin toward the end of Friday the 13th pt. 2...."Something doesn't feel right....something's wrong....THERE'S SOMEONE IN THIS ROOM PAUL, THERE'S SOMEONE IN THIS GODDAMNED ROOM!"
9. Norman dressed up again at the end of Psycho 3 with creepy grin at Tracy Venable, "Why can't you leave my poor son, my Norman alone?"
10. Norman taking out the rotting arm of corpse to caress in the back of the squad car at end of Pyscho 3
11. Rocking chair at the end of Psycho 4
12. Kid standing in corner at end of Blair Witch Project (which I found to be the ONLY scary part of this movie)
13. The end of Saw.

Sunday, December 9, 2007

The Genius of Dexter

The best thing about this show has got to be the subtle facial expressions of Michael Hall. Reaction shots get full marks, seriously. Actors are crazy. In all the years I watched this guy in Six Feet Under, never once did I find him attractive at all. Now I can say he has a completely different intrigue and I wonder what that says about me as an American media a conservative gay undertaker he has no physical attractiveness at all but turn him into a hip, smart Miami-Dade serial killer and suddenly I find him hot? The show is great.

Saturday, December 8, 2007

An Interesting Discovery

Though I was thoroughly impressed with the previous two installments ala Daniel Ocean (not only because of G. Clooney but because I thought they were quality films), I found this to be my favorite one. I have only talked to one other person about this really, and he said this one was his least favorite one, that it sucked, and that he hated it. This person was my husband, of course, and it is extremely rare that we differ on our opinions of movies so naturally I was confused as to how I ended up loving something he found so lame. What he hated most about it was that they basically spelled out everything they were going to do straight off from the beginning and then they did it. I guess the little union strike at the dice plant was thrown in for a bit of I don't know what, but mostly, I agree with that viewpoint. The difference in the viewing experiences came, I'm pretty sure, from him watching the film with the subtitles on. I did not do this. I watched this for the first time back in September while we were at the Marriot waiting for our house to get finished with the volume down low during the kids' naps. I didn't "get" many of the Vegas/Gambling references but in context, I had a very basic idea of what was going down. I remember thinking that your average filmgoer would probably have been very perplexed at all the inside lingo and how frequently they all spoke it, finishing each others' sentences, etc. But I also think that was the point of the movie this time around, second sequal, blah blah blah. Many people I know hated how the second one turned out and thought the twists were completely out of no where. Yeah, kinda. But I still totally think it was a fine effort nonetheless. Toloure dancing in the blue lazer fields? COME ON. That shit is some kind of genius. The whole explanation scene on the train? Beautiful.

Anywho. I can definitely see where having everything spelled out to you (as is with subtitles) would dampen the effect of the big bang at the end, even if you are sophisticated enough to understand all the heist pretense. Regardless, I still think it was great. Outlandish in parts, yes, but again, very much the point, right? Some of my favorite scenes, in all three films actually, are the exchanges between Scott Caan and Casey Affleck (the utah brothers?) Nice. I'm glad I saw it.

Monday, November 12, 2007

Nicely Done, Mike.

I saw Bowling for Columbine and thought it was okay. I didn't see Farenheit 911 for some reason, I think I was probably busy taking care of babies or something.......THIS on the other hand was wonderfully genius. Top of his game, he was. Lovely. A+.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Back for some more rants

Yes, it's been a while. My last post was dated July 15 I see. The reason for such a long absence was that an incompetant roofer (KRIS SCOTT business alias DUKE OF ASH) totally effed up our house on July 18 and we were in a hotel until a week ago while it got put back together again. The dumbass left exposed boards open after leaving for the day and it just happened to downpour for approximately 2 hours that evening which resulted in waterfalls and lakes in the back half of our house. The good news is that we are here, the house is almost fixed and finished, and it's a nicer place all around. The bad news is that we had to get the roof redone at our own expense because the dick is not responding to our requests to give us our money back and we will most likely have to take him to small claims court, which is something I know is necessary but would rather not get involved with.

Unfortunately I was not able to take in as much "media" as I would have liked during our little extended vacation away from home, despite the fact that our insurance actually ponied up for pay per view feature films! We did manage to catch Shrek 3, Ocean's 13, Mr. Brooks, and Knocked Up, which (save for Mr. Brooks which I'll say was mediocre at best) were quite entertaining. I got the treat of catching the last 10 minutes of 24 most days after I got both kids to nap; it was the best of the best really, seasons 4 and 5. It was during our stay at the hotel I read the wonderful news of Tony Almeida's slated return to the show this upcoming season, with which I WILL toot my own media-saavy horn and say I TOTALLY PREDICTED FROM THE MOMENT OF HIS DEATH. How wonderful. I can't wait.

i am watching the last 30 minutes of fatal attraction right now and a few things have occurred to me. the first time i watched this was in the year 1988 during our christmas vacation in san diego. it was supposed to be the most terrifying "thriller" ever made, which it probably was for the time, but what no one in our family knew was HOW MUCH SEX THERE WAS AND HOW GRAPHIC IT WAS?!?!?!? talk about uncomfortable. here we are, i'm 12, charlie's 9 and we're watching michael douglas and glenn close totally bone on the sink and both my parents are present along with pansy. seriously.

secondly: i had to watch this bit of business SEVERAL times for a few of my classes at the U and got real familiar with the little secretive "hints" it was laying down in terms of ideology. more than just the simple WATCH OUT WHO YOU CHEAT ON YOUR WIFE WITH....there comes an underlying theme of IF YOU AREN'T MAN ENOUGH TO BE A MAN THEN THIS IS WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU. i wasn't sure if i bought this claim at first, but when you watch their initial exchanges, you really see that dan gallagher's character is completely unable to assert any sort of authority and kind of just wishy-washes his way around every single decision that has to be made. because of this (and allowing all the females in the movie to call all the shots), he deserves what happens to him and is powerless to stop it, even in the end. real penis-issue stuff. to contrast what was going on in this, michelle lekas showed a clip of the most maschocistic testosterone-laden exchange of none other than papa douglas (KIRK) with some piece of tale in the 60s and this carried quite an impact. it's funny.

thirdly: now that i have kids who are out of their baby stages, the stuff with the daughter has become seriously a lot more disturbing. the boiling of the rabbit? how fucking traumatizing! the girl was so excited to come home from their trip to get her bunny and not only is it gone but mangled and simmering in a pot? next, she bears witness first hand to her parents fighting and hitting each other over the admittance of the affair. the look of her standing there, holding her little stuffed horse and comforting it while she cries and tries to hide her face made ME almost bawl. poor thing. also, going to pick her up at school and finding her gone? HELLO.

if some skank that matt boned had the balls to show up to my kids' school and take them there would be no question as to whether or not there would be any more drama. WHO DOES THIS? and even after dan has the knowledge that alex has done this and has totally invaded his family he STILL can't do anything. he tries to choke her and can't. i would have just bludgeoned her, forget the choking. ONE LARGE PUNCH IN THE FACE. with a microwave.

fourth-ly: i realized today that the tape she made for him was meant as a distraction for her to tail him home and find out where he lived? god. what a horrible woman. ick.

enough of that unpleasantness

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Everyone needs to watch this......

the lines alone make the experiences worthwhile.
it would be interesting to compare the social statements going on during the 70s
in san francisco (nixon) to the current administration.....!

Despite any political leanings these films may take, they are still QUALITY.

the following excerpt comes just as callahan has been demoted to personnel (PERSONNEL? THAT'S FOR ASSHOLES!!!--to his boss that just demoted him) (I WAS IN PERSONNEL FOR TEN YEARS!!! says they boss) and has to be on a panel that interviews new inspector applicants. Mrs. Grey is there to institute guidelines that support the hiring of individuals that represent the changing social fabric of the citizens of san francisco (women and minorities). callahan is not pleased. he belittles tyne daily and asks her what she's going to do when some punk holds a gun to her head and yells, "HIT THE DECK YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!"

Lt. Dobbs: Are you finished with the questioning, Callahan?
Harry Callahan: Hypothetical situation, huh? All right, I'm standing on the street corner, and Mrs. Grey there comes up and propositions me. She says if I come home with her, for $5 she'll put on an exhibition with a Shetland pony...
Mrs. Grey: If this is your idea of humor, Inspector...
Lt. Dobbs: All right, what are you trying to do here, Callahan?
Harry Callahan: I'm just trying to find out if anybody in this room knows what the hell law is being broken.... besides cruelty to animals.

Sunday, July 8, 2007

My Would-Have-Been Film Class

Last winter I submitted a proposal to Minneapolis Community Education for a class I was interested in starting spring term for adult enrichment: Film Appreciation. Sadly, only six people signed up for the class, and per the recommendation of both coordinators the class was canceled due to lack of interest. This kind of took the air out of me for a few days as I was really looking forward to doing it.
Though it has been a good three years since I was in school at the U taking my own film classes, the passion I have for film has only grown stronger since I finished. Here are some of the ideas I had for class discussions, had there been any interest:
1. Opening Credits. Think of some of your favorite film credits and why you like them. Or do you notice them at all? Do you see the credits as simply an unimportant opening to the feature presentation or an actual part of the film? Sometimes film credits can be separate, distinct segments with which the director is able to creatively “bookend” the actual film (Fightclub’s animation of the inner part of Ed Norton’s brain or Run Lola Run’s juvenile cartoon depiction of all the running). Other times the credits can let you in on important background information not disclosed during the film itself (Mean Streets’ credits reveal a surprisingly happy conclusion one otherwise would not know about; Gone in 60 Seconds’ opening displays through framed photography the family events which lead to the Raines Boys’ decline to car thievery).

2. Sound Editing and Design. Have you ever seen a film and really been struck by its sound effects or soundtrack? Are there films that you have seen that had bad sound design or ill-fitting soundtracks? What about when the soundtrack and music is a spot-on match for what’s happening in the film, how does that affect the overall experience? Do the actors’ deliveries or accents affect the way you understand what is being said?
Though I thoroughly enjoyed Sean Penn’s performance in Mystic River, I lost much of the dialogue’s impact trying to decipher what he was mumbling. I was also seriously annoyed by the organ theme first used during the daughter’s confirmation and then replayed at every emotional moment thereafter; I didn’t find it a good match for the intensity of what was happening in the movie.
In one of my production classes we did an exercise that involved watching a film segment without the picture and only sound (mine was Apocalypse Now). We wrote down what we thought was significant and how we were impacted by the sound and music alone. After that we watched the segment as intended, sound and picture together. It was really a cool thing to do. It was amazing how much more meaningful the viewing experience became when you took a deeper notice of what you were hearing along with what you were seeing. Helicopter blades fading into ceiling fan blades, Jim Morrison chanting about the children being insane, and Martin Sheen waiting in his room; it was lovely.

3. Narrative and Theme. What are some of the greatest stories ever told on film? How are they presented to you? Do you enjoy a more straight forward narrative that unfolds traditionally with a beginning, middle, and end in that order? Do you look for hidden meaning in a film’s message and plot elements? What of out-of-sequence narratives, intersecting plot lines and multiple endings?
Consider for a moment the significance of three classic films: Citizen Kane, Sunset Boulevard, and Singin’ in the Rain. What is it that has made these films popular? Do they make most every top 100 film list because they are genius works of cinema or because people enjoy them? Many people I have spoken with professed that though it was well done, technically remarkable, and pretty much a masterpiece, they really didn’t enjoy Citizen Kane. Was it too long? Was “rosebud” too obscure? Sunset Boulevard is similarly brilliant and wonderfully done but it’s still kind of a downer. How about Singin’ in the Rain? The dance scenes are easily the best ever performed and the comments made on the early film industry are witty and somehow even relevant today (hello, Entourage?) This is one we can all feel good about, provided of course you are able to stomach Debbie Reynolds.
What is it that makes a movie good? Can you get past an uninteresting narrative if it is technically put together well? I had this problem recently with Babel. Though it was very skillfully done, I just had no commitment to any of the characters or anything that happened to them. I found myself wishing I could change the channel and then check back later to see if anything good had come up. I grudgingly gave Citizen Kane my respect for similar reasons. The other side of this of course is getting past a marginally-made picture because the story is entertaining. Marginally made can mean a lot of things but I limit the term to having extremely bad acting, editing, sound, or dialogue ( such that would make the pope weep, as Mark Borchardt would say). There are actually quite a few films that I enjoy yet put into this category: bad 80s films (Porky’s, Evil Dead, Sleepaway Camp), mainstream blockbusters (Armageddon, Terminator 3), or pretty much anything starring Vince Vaughn or directed by Kevin Smith. Somehow I think that the American Film Institute leans toward the technically advanced sorts of films and NOT the kind I’ve just listed.

Sunday, June 24, 2007

two-timing myspace, but who cares?

ilms i really hated.

surprisingly, there are very few in existance. I've been meaning to blog this for a while now, and finally, here it is.

1. PEARL HARBOR. walked out, little over halfway through. i don't really think this needs an explanation, but i'll give it a go: michael bay can do good non-historical action, like THE ROCK or ARMEGEDDON. this? PLUS BEN AFFLECK?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? yeeeee. nooooooo no no no no no. probably my most violent reaction to a piece of media, ever during my time on this earth (save for the severe beating i gave to my brother and jen after THAT GODDAMNED RICKY MARTIN VIDEO WITH THE CANDLE WAX. these things, plus jane's addiction make me downright homicidal.)

2. THE LAST SAMURAI. walked out just as tom cruise makes his surprise "visit" at the end. so annoyed. this was a film i had to see for a contemporary film class my last semester at the U. i had been seeing ACTUAL SAMURAI FILMS for a good, straight year and a half and then this. kurasawa was heaving in his grave after this one, seriously.

3. THE LIFE AND TIMES OF DAVID GALE. this is just one of those IN GENERAL sort of dislikes (i really try to be a bit more explanatory when i say i hate a film, so this is a big cop out) but i remember thinking, is this the best these decent actors could do? the story just made me really bored and annoyed and i felt very dumb after sitting through it. then i told my friend nik about hating it and she got mad at me because she really loved it.

hey, i had tons of professors say they hated a bunch of shit that i thought was classic genius. but really, some things just don't jive with people. i'm always willing to hear someone else's film rants too. it's probably my favorite thing to talk about!

that said, the floor is open. anyone want to dish on YOUR most hated films? i'd love to hear it! Or favorite ones, for those who are not into the whole negativity thing.......

a very negative experience.....

My mother got this book for us when we were children, most likely at a garage sale somewhere. We had read many of the other Russell and Lillian Hoban "Francis" books before this; they seemed to be a bit more uplifting. Harvey's Hideout may have come earlier than Francis, or Russell Hoban just may have been a severly foul mood for a good couple of years but I have to say that this whole book is really kind of nasty. The two little muskrat children are rude and mean to each other from the very beginning. I'm tending to side with the younger one, Harvey, as he seems to at least attempt to make nice after a while. Big sister Mildred is a big old BITCH!!! This is hitting me very close to home as I was quite rude to my younger brother (back in the day) and I guess I don't really like to read a children's book that is basically 90% kids fighting and 10% OH YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE I HAVE TO PLAY WITH SO I"LL BE NICE NOW THAT THE BOOK IS ENDING.
well, other children's authors have definitely done this too (Kevin Henkes, Nancy Carlson, etc.) but I think the difference may just lie in the skill of the illustrator, if we're going to split hairs. The illustrations of these MUSKRATS (gag anyway) are really evil and mean looking. I guess it's one thing if you're going to have cutish little mice (like Lily and Chrysanthemum) being all caught up in their girl drama, but Mildred Muskrat just looks gross no matter what she's doing (so does Harvey). I can't shred any sort of sympathy to a bunch of butt ugly muskrats who are yelling at each other and being rude. It's like having to try and try to stomach an ugly child who is annoying, rude, and mean (INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL and other random happenings in my personal life, unfortunately. not my kids of course).

The disgusting part of this whole rant is that this book is now my son's favorite one and he insists on having it read for his naptime and bedtime story. yuck. Matt has started to flat-out refuse to read it because he hates it too. Maybe I can get clever one of these days and substitute BREAD AND JAM FOR FRANCIS. After all this would be a much more desireable draw, being about food and everything.......RIGHT UP MY ALLEY!!!

Saturday, June 23, 2007

my new HBO bf.....

Now that there is no more Sopranos I've been enjoying Entourage more and more. It's almost like Sex and the City on the other coast, for dudes, and with a lot more likeable characters. Well, mostly likeable anyway. I kind of get bored with Vince and Eric, but everyone else pretty much rules.

Some more random thoughts on media:

1. nicole kidman bugs. it's the voice, i think.

2. the new michael moore is bringing in all sorts of hyped-up moviegoers at starbucks,
that or some codgey german language piece.

3. it's been george clooney week around here: Three Kings, The Peacemaker, and A Perfect Storm. All quite nice.
All this visual stimulation makes me seriously long for the good old days of neck tattoos and Seth Gecko.

Monday, June 11, 2007

The end is here.......


Tuesday, June 5, 2007

myspace movie game

I got this as a bulletin and it seemed fun! So, I thought I would try it as well.

Go to and look up 8 of your favorite movies. Post three official IMDB "Plot Keywords" for these 8 picks. Have your friends guess the movie titles.

Put down the ones you know. You don't need to know all of them. answers are below.

1. New York City, group sex, paranoid
2. Guest, Mansion, Invitation
3. Melancholy, Rise to Power, Organized Crime
4. Women Fight, Martial Arts, Mother/Daughter Runite
5. Vigilante, Gunfight, Teenage Boy
6. Father Figure, Double Life, Street Gang
7. Running, Multiple Outcomes, Berlin Germany
8. Multiple Cameos, Route 66, Friendship

Movie Game

Friday, June 1, 2007

things are right in the world again

I had absolutely no beef with the season finale of 24. I thought they brought it all back around and I was back onto pretty much being in love with every character again. I even found myself giving Veep Daniels a little sympathy in the end as well and I hated him from the get-go. Looking back, the only issues I had with the season were pretty much limited to that ridiculous health business (into a coma, out of a coma, forced back in, forced back out) with the Prez, that OUTLANDISH shit with Audrey, and of course, RICKY SCHROEDER. Many found Chloe's pregnancy to be a bad move. Yeah, I could probably have crossed that out of the script but after being forced to contend with the aforementioned elements, this just didn't even strike me as anything to get upset about. If anything, I enjoyed how she had to be all CHLOE about telling Morris, blunt and awkward. What a gem of a man Tom Lennox turned out to be! Surprise, surprise. I really enjoyed myself, and in my pregnant state of hormonally charged emotion, I cried from pretty much the last hour on.

NICE JOB, FOX. now please learn from your mistakes this year and give us something lively next season, such as, NINA AND TONY BACK FROM THE DEAD. you have your work cut out for you. GO. NOW.

Monday, May 28, 2007

not good, dr. hill.

I was so horribly uncomfortable throughout the whole thing that I am just now starting to un-tense my entire system. I started watching this like, 3 weeks ago and just finished the last 40 minutes today. The best thing I can give it was that the condo was nice. And the pictionary fight was semi-entertaining. I just can't do Vince Vaughn. AT ALL. Let alone J-Anniston. She is just so generic and anorexic and RACHEL FROM FRIENDS that I feel like I've already seen and experienced everything she has to offer. What a pisser.

Just as I turned it off, THE ROCK was playing on one of the HBOs, right at the part when Goodspeed is inquiring as to the future of Mr. Henderson's head. I COULD HAVE BEEN WATCHING THIS INSTEAD!!!!!!! Let's cut the chit-chat A-HOLE indeed.
I love Nic Cage. He does over the top in a way that does NOT make my insides turn outward.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Hello, Beastie.

Here is my message in a bottle to Captain Jack Sparrow:
I love you. I have lots of rum. Now bring me that horizontal. I mean.....HORIZON.

Sequels that Rock:
1. Pirates O' Carr.
3. Young Guns
4. Indiana Jones
5. ANything involving James Cameron

I just realized that SPARROW (not BAUER) is the new jack.
I have yet to watch the 2hour season finale. I heard it blew. Big Surprise.
Matt mentioned that the 24 movie may just bring Tony Almeida back from the dead......!

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

And the hits just keep on comin'

Jesus H. I knew this would all end badly, but there is only so much we can take here! If it's not Vito Jr. taking a crap on the shower floor we have all this business to deal with. Chris is probably better off, to tell the truth. They never would have accepted his new and improved views on life, then they would all have to take a look at what shitty fathers THEY were.....Peace out there, Spider.

AJ-----I just can't quite accept his new-found HEY I'm NOT A SLACKER, I REALLY CARE ABOUT THE WORLD, etc.,etc. (So your life is in the toliet, so your wife is bangin' a used car salesman, it's embarassing, i know! but god dammit harry, TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!!!) Like Chris, probably would have been better off (dead). Sorry AJ.

PHIL LEOTARDO. holy christ. This guy as Frankie, was pretty much the angel of death to Pesci and his brother in CASINO. I almost enjoy that he is reclaiming the role here as well. This is the guy that is going to bring down the Sopranos? While I can't say I expected it from the beginning, the guy always had some kind of score to settle, from the moment he got sprung from the clink. I say it's either him or Paulie Walnuts that's gonna tank them all.

Friday, May 4, 2007

Reasons 24 is in the crapper........

1. First and foremost.........see above.
Why in the name of JESUS-CHRISTO would they axe Tony right his height? BAD BAD BAD. While the rest of season 5 was still good, we had all the President Logan and his boozer wife business going on to distract us. PLUS a few other unsavory items as well.

2. The only decent thing they DID do was to bring back Romano for a second run only to have him killed WAY too soon. His evilness was actually kind of fun for me. So what next, as things are going from bad to worse..........
(here comes the inevitable mention of the PARIAH OF THE SHOW, fully responsible for my loathing and indifference...)


4. I could go on for a few more paragraphs about the stupid shit with Audrey and the grossness of Veep Noah Daniels, but I feel as though it would exhaust me and just make me madder and at this point, I won't do it. I tried to watch 6 minutes of the "Audrey's Crazy" episode and I barely made it. I finished my sandwich and saw no point to continue.

5. This is very sad for me as there was a time, not too long ago, that 24 was pretty much my reason for loving media again. Oh how the tables have turned.

Monday, April 30, 2007

And so it begins......

Where do I even begin? Telling Carmella Cousin Brian's unborn baby is going to die because of her faulty construction work, the ridiculous gambling? COME ON!!!! How on earth did you ever become boss of your family? Know when to fold 'em, Tony. Like, NOW.
Vito Spatafore junior CRAPPING IN THE SHOWER AND THEN STEPPING IN IT?!?!?!?!?!?! HOLY CHRIST. I am forever traumatized for seeing that image. I am gagging now just thinking about it. I did a lengthy search for images of both Vito Junior and POOP IN THE SHOWER, but yielded nothing.
I really have nothing else. I knew this show was going to have a lot of shit (what i thought would be metaphorical shit) to sort through before its end, but I never expected anything like this. They are headed for the gutter. Yuck. I just hope David Chase decided to end it all original Scarface style and NOT remake-Scarface........!

Monday, April 16, 2007

Don't Eff with The Sopranos (a spoiler is included)


sopranos cheater

yes, i watched it today and didn't wait for matt or leah as we were all too tired last night.

i still think back to the day in heidi wasson's class when peter greg (in his post-bacculaureate and INFINITE wisdom) enlightened the rest of the undergraduates with his ridiculous claims. NOT that he invented the question mark but much worse. THAT THERE WAS NOTHING NEW, NOTHING GROUND BREAKING ABOUT THE SOPRANOS AND IT WAS NOT A GOOD SHOW. he then went on to say (after someone asked him if he watched any other HBO shows or were accustomed to the writing, etc.) that yes, he watched HBO all the time and RARELY MISSED AN EPISODE OF SEX AND THE CITY.


i can think of nothing more ridiculous than saying, TO A GROUP OF FILM MAJORS, what he said. if he was just some random, NON-pompous idiot on the street who was going up to people all excited and positive, HEY, SEX AND THE CITY IS GENIUS!!! IT'S EVEN BETTER THAN THE SOPRANOS!!! IT'S BETTER THAN ANYTHING!!! I THINK YOU SHOULD WATCH IT!!!! AHHHHHHHH SEX AND THE CITY IS MY REASON FOR LIVING!!!

i would not challenge his opinions. however. he was the biggest AIRBAG of a film nerd (AND NOT EVEN A REAL FILM NERD. DR. WHO DOES NOT COUNT.) and if i had had one more single class with him i would have ripped my own ears and eyes out and stabbed holes in both my wrists to avoid any further future annoyances (and had i not been pregnant at the time).


1. the sopranos IS ground breaking. the writers are doing what the 24 writers at fox cannot, and that's to make the show interesting beyond its 6th season. NEW, interesting plot lines. i know there were only 3 seasons in existance when you started this shit, but i will stand my ground. THE WRITING IS BRILLIANT.

2. name any movies or shows where the show goes out of its way to show you how distasteful its characters are. are you 4 seconds later put in a position where you are feeling genuine concern, sadness, worry, excitement, or some other strong emotion for them? THAT'S HOW IT'S GROUNDBREAKING. the sopranos has mainstreamed being able to care about and validate the goings-on of masochistic, murdering thugs.
until now, only the select few (and yes, i was one of them) were able to empathize with people like JR Ewing, Leland Palmer, or Dr. Romano. Can you understand how emotionally involving it is to see Tony Soprano banging some whore with a 4 inch manicure one minute after throwing fur coats and jewelry at his unsuspecting wife and then bawling on Melfi's chair the next minute about how his mother never nurtured her children? there is a large social awareness that is being created from a show like this. If you sat down ANY of the criminals out there today and asked them questions about their upbringings i'm sure we would be shocked and astounded at how their parents failed them. when you are childless and EVER SO INTELLIGENTLY SCHOOLED ABOVE THE REST OF US (film school at north dakota state university) i'm sure you are able to pass off such experiences as they probably do not affect you or your philosophies very much. it's a much different scenario once you try to see each child or adult as an individual or someone's baby that they rocked or did not rock to sleep at night.

3. about the above: the violence is many times over the top, yes. THE WORLD IS OVER THE TOP. it doesn't seem quite as random and gratuituous if you consider the implications of dysfunction and its affects.

4. the sopranos started a huge trend of serial shows as cinema, with writing, editing, and subject matter. this show has roots in a hugely celebrated, diginfied genre and is more like a gangster film than a television show. THAT IS GROUNDBREAKING BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE EVER DID IT.

5. this has nothing to do with the sopranos, but indiana jones and the temple of doom IS a good movie. it is NOT ridiculous, steven spielberg did NOT suffer from not being able to direct kate capshaw because he was in love with her, and it SHOULD NOT have never been made. GUNGA DIN, EVER SEE IT?!?!?!?!?! it's like temple of doom without indy. it's like these kids out there who are going nuts over DISTURBIA. remakes are not always a bad thing, sometimes they are wonderful.

6. oh, and PISS OFF.
your "videos" and ersatz emory screenplay were extremely sub-par for being a graduate student, yet you completely talked down to every other person in the class for no justified reason.

i see this is becoming more and more of a psychiatrist's couch for me (this blog, how fitting with the tony soprano references) to be able to speak my issues out. i think pregnancy brings so many hot button things to the surface, i have to start swinging somehow. the problem with me is that I REMEMBER EVERYTHING. and while i did do my part (as MANY others did) to give mr. greg many many MANY tony almeida faaaaaaaaats faces, he just didn't get the clue. people like him usually don't. i guess i have to give him "props" for being himself and having the blind confidence to just get up in front of a group of people and treat them like his desciples, well, NO I DON"T. i myself have many opinions, many thoughts that are not shared by others. but part of what i like about interacting with other people is getting to find out THEIR opinions too. if they are different from mine, that is all the more interesting.


the end.

oh and this latest episode was one in a very long time that made me cry. JOHNNY SAC, tony's hurt over christopher, and the baptism? Tell me this isn't michael corleone revealed. it is genius and i love it.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

It occurs to me.....

After the first episode of The Sopranos last week, that over and over, the predominant theme here is this: IT'S THE MOTHER'S FAULT. DO YOU HEAR ME? THE MOTHER!!!!!!!! nothing else matters.

mothers out there, beware.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

I figured it out, and it's EVEN MORE DISTURBING!!!!

someone REMOVE him from 24. Seriously. he is nauseating me damned close to abandoning the series.

Friday, March 16, 2007

Two very different uses for the human body......

So I watched SLIVER yesterday. The last time I had seen it was during the height of its popularity, around 1993 or so. It aired on HBO and was probably one of the most sexual movies I had ever seen, after Fatal Attraction and Risky Business. I also had the major hots for Billy Baldwin in this, like everyone else. I think this film was a little strange and exciting for me because it was during the times when people my age were starting to "date." I was a ripe 16 years old at that time and personally knew people who had had sex, though not in quite the manner of Wills and Sharon here. I seriously wondered about all

I can't really say anything negative about the film; I still appreciated it for the voyeuristic in-your-face doing it that gave me chills back in the day. They got quite a few big names, too. Martin, Landeau, Sharon Stone, Baldwin, Berenger, etc. Not bad. I read Ira Levin's novel at one point but I can't remember a thing about it. Come to think of it, there has been some good myspace discussion on trashy novels lately. I may just have to add this to the Half Price list.......

And secondly: Friday the Thirteenth part 7, The New Blood.
Wow. I have just realized that my favorite part of every single Friday the 13th has got to be the strategic positioning of dead bodies around the camp or cabin so that the last one standing will always stumble upon them. Why don't they ever show a real time breakdown of Jason so dilligently nailing them to walls, getting the ropes to hang them from the tree and then rigging a falling mechanism, etc. ? That would be hilarious! Jason, with his tool belt, measuring and hammering like a regular handy manny? Genius.

Yeah, and the exposed vertebrae, fully visible through his shreds of clothing? come on. I think that little touch was a bit unnecessary. All in all, very nostalgic, very cheesy, very groan-inducing. BUT FUN, nontheless.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Something Does Not Feel Right.......

Where o where are Tony Almeida and Chase Edmunds when you need them?!?!? Seriously. SILVER SPOONS was just not working for me. He looks weird, maybe he had some drug problems or something after NYPD Blue? He just looks haggard and gives me the willies (not unlike the current Cory Haim).

Other than this, last night's episode of 24 was good; my reaction to seeing Aaron Pierce again was a happy, furious kicking of my feet in the air. Even better that he's been shacking up with the former (drunk) First Lady Martha L!!!!! Congrats. Didn't seem to end too well for either of them though. Tom Lennox is really going to have to step it up if he wants to save the country from POWERS BOOTHE. If I were him, I would have high-tailed it outta there while the veep was on the phone with Bill Buchanan. I was happy to see in the previews that Karen Hayes would be returning to her post. WHO WILL BE THE RAT?!?!?!? I can hardly wait to find out.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Billy, we're good, but this is getting ridiculous......

I realize now the reason I never saw this when it came out or years later on tape: not one of my friends would have had any interest in this movie. None of them watched "Dirty Harry" with their fathers, either, I suppose. I thought it was very entertaining. Yes, I realize it is cheesy. Yes, I realized approximately 3 minutes in (with the help of the score and those ridiculous drums) that this was indeed, St. Elmo's Fire with cowboys. I popped onto IMDB and started looking up reviews, of which there were few. I read a few of the sequal's and then went back to forming my own opinion. My opinion is basically this: SOMETIMES CHEESEY MAINSTREAM POP CULTURE IS GOOD FOR US. I mean, it was released in 1988. What really was going on then? Regan to Bush? uh, Iran Contra? The war on drugs? One might argue that a film like this is bubble-gum garbage, but I kind of think in a way, that was the point. The script was blunt and bad. The lines were shouted and mostly yee ha-ed throughout (all I could think of when they yelled, "REGULATORS!!!" was the unfortunate, "A-booga booga booga, ah-ah-ah...") But what else was the youth culture going to watch? Had there even been a "western" marketed to us before this? It would be a few more years before I actually sat myself down and hung in through the bad dubbings of Sergio Leone and even longer before I could stomach John Wayne, but those films weren't meant for me then anyway. At least this would have created an interest in a wider scope of cinema, perhaps paving the way for me to appreciate other, more well-done westerns as I gained a bit more maturity?

When we watched John Wayne in Silberman's class, many of the people just absolutely FREAKED when we had to discuss it the next day. WHY DID YOU MAKE US WATCH THAT? IT WAS SO BAD!!! IT WAS SO CHEESEY! IT WAS SO BORING!!! THAT GUY IS A TOOL!!!! on and on and on. I kind of liked it all. I got my introduction to westerns from The Twilight Zone (which I also watched with my dad), and John Wayne, Vera Miles, Jimmy Stewart, and Lee Van Cleef really took me back to all of that.

My main point in ranting about this film is that it was relatively harmless, cheesy, minimally violent, and GOOD! It did not need to be deeply philosophical or woo us with a bunch of distinctive edits (save for a few slow motion death-falls at the end, Pekinpah would be appropriately dismayed) because it was doing what all action movies aspire to do: give us a hero. Sometimes this is what the public needs, something simple, something cheesy. A fairy tale! Isn't that why 24 has such a wonderfully broad and obsessive following? We don't want reality. We want someone who is going to save us, no matter how ridiculous the scenario. EVERYONE NEEDS A BAUER.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Not Much to Report

As we have been wimps here, going to bed early at any opportunity, I have not seen anything in its entirety on which to blog. We have Young Guns, Beyond Borders, and the rest of Borat to finish, and we caught a few minutes of As Good as it Gets last night before crashing early in anticipation of daylight savings. Mostly we did laundry, cleaned the basement, and made trips to get coffee, drop off goodwill clothes at the Valu Village, and got groceries.
Here is my favorite artist ever:

Jasper Johns

Saturday, March 10, 2007

dreams and a young kiefer

we were at some sort of lycium at bold high school. it was a mock trial or something, this is weird because BOLD never did mock trials while i was there, so i didn't really have any experience with this (unless you count the 4 second mock trial i did in mr ross's earth science class in 8th grade about saving the trees. i was the expert witness, dr. pat smart. jennifer and julie and erica kept calling me "dr. papschmear.")

the mock trial in my dream was more like a mock inquisition. they were trying to find the communists in our school. it was very official, people were in uniforms. SHIT more just came back to me. IT WAS AL FRANKEN. they were questioning him and intimidating him and trying to get him to crack, and he was trying his best to convince them that he was not a communists. he even left the procedings and got on an official uniform himself, and tried to do all the official things the questioners were doing, to prove he was one of them. it didn't work out and they took him away. it was over, and everyone was laughing at how clever it was, how well we all did, etc. THEN. the guards came back in and said there were more. so playing along with it all, the people in charge were like, "all right then, round em' all up!!" they started coming over by me and my class. i wasn't really scared, because i figured that if anything, erica would get picked before i would, since she was more of a communist than me. no. they came right up to me and pointed me out and no one else. i had to go over to a holding area in the gym, over the bleachers and up by the basketball hoop. i had to sit there while the whole gym made fun of everything in my life i had done up to that point. i tried to be a good sport and laugh with them, because i had to make them think i still knew it was all fake. then, something in me started planning how to run out of there, either up the balcony and down the stairs that way or out the front entrance into the street.

pretty soon a commercial came onto a large projection screen that was on the wall. it was about some kind of cleaning solution, how to use it on everything. i looked down at my shoes, which weret those white grandma shoes that used to be popular that you could buy at ben franklin. some people took the laces out, some left them in. mine were in, and they were stained by iron or something. they were rusty and dirty. i notified the guard lady that i needed some of that solution that was just on the screen and she took me out of the gym.

after this, the threat of being wrongfully imprisoned for being a communist was gone. the main problem became trying to get these shoes cleaned. the next thing i dreamed was that this guy i work with, ian, was really a wizard and could fix the appearance of anything. i needed him to fix my shoes.

last part: a friend from high school, leah dillon, sent my mother a christmas card. on it were two little girls, babies. one was about 1 1/2 and the other was just a tiny one, just starting to roll over. for some reason it was on OUR fridge. i kept wondering when she had another baby. i think i knew she already had a little girl but that girl is probably like 5 by now.

In other news, I was fortunate enough to flip onto THE LOST BOYS as it played on Cinemax yesterday afternoon. It was a very big deal when this first came out; I think I was in like, 6th grade? Kiefer Sutherland was quite scary. I was struck by the youngess of him when I watched. Jason Patrick does nothing for me. Of course, I wanted to be Jami Gertz, even as a vampire.
If I had to name one of my favorite 80s movies of all time, The Lost Boys would be in the top five. On that note, I am getting YOUNG GUNS through Netflix today, and I'm quite excited. We did not finish Borat but still have it here. If I feel brave enough to try and watch it through to completion, I'll post my reaction.

Friday, March 9, 2007

One Perfect Thing

Snow (Hey Oh) Lyrics

Come to decide that the things that I tried were in my life just to get high on.
When I sit alone, come get a little known
But I need more than myself this time.
Step from the road to the sea to the sky, and I do believe that we rely on
When I lay it on, come get to play it on
All my life to sacrifice.

Hey oh... listen what I say oh
I got your hey oh, now listen what I say oh

When will I know that I really can't go
To the well once more - time to decide on.
Well it's killing me, when will I really see, all that I need to look inside.
Come to belive that I better not leave before I get my chance to ride,
Well it's killing me, what do I really need - all that I need to look inside.

Hey oh... listen what I say oh
Come back and hey oh, look at what I say oh

The more I see the less I know
The more I like to let it go - hey oh, woah...
Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow,
Finally divided by a word so undecided and there's nowhere to go;
Inbetween the cover of another perfect wonder and it's so white as snow,
Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there's nowhere to go.

Went to descend to ammend for a friend of the channels that had broken down.
Now you bring it up, I'm gonna ring it up - just to hear you sing it out.
Step from the road to the sea to the sky, and I do belive what we rely on,
When I lay it on, come get to play it on
All my life to sacrifice

Hey oh... listen what I say oh
I got your hey oh... listen what I say oh

The more I see, the less I know
The more I like to let it go - hey oh, woah...
Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow.
Finally divided by a word so undecided and there's nowhere to go
Inbetween the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow
Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there's nowhere to go.

I said hey hey yeah oh yeah, tell my love now.
Hey hey yeah oh yeah, tell my love now.

Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow,
Finaly divided by a word so undecided and there's nowhere to go.
Deep beneath the cover of another perfect wonder where it's so white as snow...
Running through the field where all my tracks will be concealed and there's nowhere to go.

I said hey oh yeah oh yeah... tell my love now
Hey yeah yeah... oh yeah.

Is it crazy that one single song can make me so insanely happy and blindly optimistic that I just want to cry? I can almost see my son and his cousins and friends jamming this out in someone's basement someday. The genius of Keidis.

Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Back in the USSR.....

Oh Jack, did you really think walking right out the front door was gonna fly? I mean, I saw the previews for next week so I know you get out of it okay, but seriously. I wouldn't want to be held captive by a Russian whose finger you just lopped off.
Hour 12 was nice, here we are, halfway through already. I have to say, I am really digging it with the comeback of Chuck Logan (as Grizzley Bear Jenkins) and Boris The Blade as Gredenko. What a lineup. I am enjoying the parallels between Logan and Jack, the isolation, the beards, the way the goverment had to turn on them both. It's wonderful. Also, who knew how much a nice suit would snazz up ol' Charles L? I mean, Jack in the suit clearly has its merits, but even the buttness of Charles Logan was lessened by getting all gussied up in a suit and tie. Nice work. All I have on the Vice President is this: never trust Powers Boothe. He's snaky and sleezy. I haven't seen much in his repetoire other than Blue Sky and Deadwood, but believe me, the characters he's played in those two pretty well sum it up. He's some real badness.
Someone on the 24blog wondered if this was going to continue straight on its course without any major plot twists or rather turn on its ear in the second half like seasons 3 and 5 both did. To this I have no clue, 24 has a way of sucking me in so deeply that I sort of forget that the old Murphy's Law can come rearing its ugly head at any time. I miss Tony, I miss him so much. I am starting to wonder if Carlos Bernard might be one of those difficult actors; rumors about outlandish behavior are starting to surface. I don't like this. If they bring him back as a terrorist I will jump to the moon, in a good way.

Monday, March 5, 2007

Like being in jail, with the possibility of drowning...

I chose this for my afternoon viewing since HBO on demand displayed a 1hour 38minute viewing time. I guess I shouldn't have expected much from an action film limited to such little screen time, but I was still willing to give it a chance. It was bad. Well, put it this way. It was well done, the bit that we actually see on screen. The problems for me were with the story and how ridiculous it was. I mean, why exactly was this rogue wave just out of no where? Set that up better next time, that way we aren't just sitting around looking really confused and annoyed when a big wave is about three seconds away from destroying the whole ship. They tried to explain it later, after the fact, and yes, we heard how these waves are unpredictable and rare, but still. Then, why exactly did they have to leave the bubbled area where they were able to close the bulkhead doors? Kirk Russel had to find his daughter, but the rest of them? And that woman with her son (who left him alone countless times on the ship both before and after the wave hit, way to go, mother of the year)? It just didn't jive. I was willing to allow the gay architect by Dick Dreyfuss until it then hit me that after that, I kind of liked this movie the first two times I saw it when it was called, "The Towering Inferno," and "Titanic." I mean, I can just hear the pitch to the studios in those terms. Boo. The Towering Inferno had Steve McQueen and Paul Newman. The score to Inferno was lame and it was way too drawn out, but it was more believable, I'll give it that. Blaahh. The postive things I'll say about the film are these: Josh Lucas was lookin' fine, Rico from Six Feet Under had a nasty death scene, and the massive spectacle of the boat was scary once the tut started hitting the fan. Wolfgang Peterson......yee. I mean the effects were nominated for an Oscar, but still. Das Boot war Schlecht.

In other viewings, I happened to catch the last 20 minutes of 24, the bad hour for Chappelle, if you get me.
I found myself getting choked up for the guy, I have to admit. It got me thinking about what my reaction would be if one of my worst enemies was in a similar jam. I don't really have any actual enemies, but I do have someone from my junior high and high school years that I really, really loathe. I don't want her to be killed or tortured, but if it came down to her or the welfare of the country, I'd like to think I'd choose the country. Season 3 has got to be the darkest, most hard core season of 24 so far. It's just really, really negative and hopeless, the entire time. Everyone's got problems. This sort of episodic wonder just gets me so happy and excited. I can't stress enough the love I have for Bauer.

On the subject of love, I watched V for Vendetta yesterday afternoon. A very important film, I think. For every right wing nut job out there, especially the ones who are parents, I would wish just one viewing of this film, noting the reaction. The image of the daughter's framed picture being thrust into the garbage can after her father shuns her for being gay will stay with me forever. How can anyone do that to their own child? In addition to the wonderfully relevent themes, the music and mise en scenes were beautifully done. The dialogue too, all just splendid. Seriously, one of my favorite movies ever.

Sunday, March 4, 2007

my game o' the moment

I started playing this during my senior year in high school. I was working at the Sheep Shedde Restaurant and would come home after a gross lunch shift all hot and tired and play this game for hours. I never really got past it until one of my brother's friends came over and we watched him do it first. There were still worlds that I never was able to conquer though, hence why I am kind of obsessed with it now. The funny thing is, everyone in the household is on board with me. My husband likes to sit and watch me do it so he can learn how to do it himself. My son loves Yoshi and each time I play requests that I get a different one, red and blue, mostly. My daughter, who is still a baby, just love the music and bright colors. I made a rule that I would only play this on weekends, limiting everyone's exposure to it that way, but since we had like, 4 days of snow, it was like one big long weekend and we played it up more than usual.
That said, if anyone out there knows any good cheats for getting by the TUBULAR special world, please let me know.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

the circle of media.....

I saw The Little Mermaid after it had been released to video in 1990. A few of my friends rented it for one of our Friday night escapades and I was skeptical. Mostly we just sat around eating Cheetos paws or TMNT Crunch-a-bungas with lipton coconut iced teas in bottles (all of this is now extinct) watching The Naked Gun, every single time, so I was annoyed that the routine had to be messed with, especially for an animated Disney film. I didn't really allow Disney in my life until FINDING NEMO, so I was the sulky, complaining one when we got together to watch this. Of course, I ended up loving it, watching it over and over, and buying the soundtrack (ON TAPE), learning the words to every song and playing them on the piano nonstop. I would listen to the soundtrack when I got ready for school in the morning. WHAT A DORK.
This all came back to me last night as we received it as a netflix selection. My little guy (who is almost 3) sat next to me eating popcorn and was super into the eels (flotsom and jetsom?) and the butchering French chef. I had to stop and consider the fact that Christ, almost 20 years ago, I was watching this with my friends, and now I have kids who are seeing the things that I saw for the first time. My life is going very fast. It's funny how films and songs take on a new meaning when you start explaining what you were doing the first time you experienced them and remembering the little random things in your youth..!
On another related note, I had a different, more unpleasant Little Mermaid experience in the spring of 1998 when Disney released some commemorative VHS version of the film. I was working at the Kenwood Blockbuster Video where they allowed people to preorder the movie. Usually the new release shipments came in on Monday's delivery, but this shipment was huge, and came in the previous weekend. We normally had to prep the boxes, call the people who ordered them, etc., etc., so everything would be ready when they were officially released on Tuesday. One woman called to ask if the films were there. Some dude who was a little dim told her, "Oh yeah, we have them here, they're back in boxes, we just haven't taken them out and prepped them yet." and said for her to come on down. It happened to be POURING rain that day, and this blond haired, sopped woman comes bouncing in with her huge umbrella, ready to pick up her copy earlier than anyone else. The manager, unaware that the other guy had told anyone this had to sit there and try to explain why she couldn't have it and how the dude misinformed her blah, blah, blah. The woman sat there and just yelled her head off, bitching about how she walked up there in the rain, told her daughter she would have it tonight, would have to go home and explain this all to a six-year-old, how she was letting her down, it went on and on. The manager was finally just standing there at a complete loss as to what to say or do next so she just said, "ma'am, I'm really sorry," And the woman just snarled and said, "YOU SHOULD BE." and spun around on her heel and stalked out into the rain again.
The next day she came back in and I gave her $10 in goodwill rental credits and she was my best friend for life.

Friday, March 2, 2007

not uncomfortable at all......

the pilot episode.
1. the mailman coming to the snowy walsh house in minneapolis to show us the forwarded mail
2. the 90s fashion, kelly in partics.
3. "the kids are totally fine. or totally 'bad,' I don't quite have the lingo around here yet." the mother on the phone to jim walsh
4. the credits. mostly the pilot's before the actual theme song was created.
5. "that guy is a total TOOL." a random surfer guy about brandon.
6. "Brenda, your brother is totally DOPE." said by donna.

matt just said, "I could have the biggest most enormous raging boner in the world and one look at brenda and donna and it will go limp in a matter of seconds." "brandon's hair looks like a goddamned hockey helmet."

twin peaks part deux

“Special Agent Dale Cooper, Federal Bureau of Investigation”

Like many aspects of the show, Cooper’s character is both conventional and oppositional as a federal agent. He is an omnipotent figure who exudes confidence, intelligence, and yes, masculinity. But Cooper, arguably the show’s hero and savior is a very special agent indeed. His obsessive attention to detail, involving anything from the food he eats to the way he questions suspects to his dictation tapes to Diane, together with his robotic hand gestures and childlike enthusiasm portray him as more of a handsomely giddy nerd whose destiny in life has become solving Laura Palmer’s murder. This professional and competent geekiness defines Cooper as not only an outlander among Twin Peaks’ residents but also as a different sort of man.
His interactions with Sheriff Truman are bizarre for this reason; where Truman is all business and eager to begin the investigation, Cooper rambles on about cherry pie and Douglas Fir trees, casually adding an afterthought about the coroner’s report. Later on a stakeout, Truman suggests that perhaps they’ve been spotted; Cooper hesitates and then replies, “Hand me a doughnut.” These interactions do not serve to lessen Cooper’s merit or status as a federal agent but seem to simply redefine our expectations of what a detective will say or do. While not exactly feminized, Cooper becomes an enigmatic force who is able to successfully perform his job in a non-agressive, mystical fashion.
More striking than the interactions among locals however, are the ways in which Cooper’s gender and identity are portrayed. During the first season, Cooper is not often shown in any scenes involving physical violence nor is he sexualized in any way. Through his professional competence and attractive physical appearance it is suggested that he would easily succeed in both areas if given the chance, but nothing is ever really developed until the attempt on his life at the end of the season. As an American male character, Cooper is thus handicapped in the way that he is lacking in both physical and sexual abilities that would allow him to achieve that ultimate goal of macho male-dom. Using deductive techniques and dream analysis to provide insight into the murder case also seem to show Cooper as an atypical detective, an oppositional character. Together with Truman and the rest of the town, we see in Cooper the new and the unexpected. The point is not that Cooper is less of a male or an American because of what he lacks, but rather he is an alternative kind of hero whose individuality and difference seek to redefine tired norms of gender and identity.

“But it is Laura Palmer”

The initial focus of the show and someone we never see alive, Laura Palmer becomes an untouchable goddess whose life and death drive every aspect of Twin Peaks’ first season. In many ways, she too is a stereotype: homecoming queen, successful student, adored by the community. Her sudden death is a shock and an event, both inside the show and out in the way that it brings people together. What makes Laura an oppositional victim is the fact that she remains powerful after her death and creates a strong connection with the man who investigates her murder. The connection between Cooper and Laura is complex, but one that is dependent on the characters’ genders and identities as much as anything else. As Laura is a beautiful woman who is sexualized in ways that Cooper is not, their connection to one another suggests a subtle hint of sexual tension. This partnership is also more interesting with the notion that despite being dead, Laura knows things that Cooper does not, therefore giving her a slight upper hand and more power throughout the investigation into her murder. This in some ways violates traditional shows’ positions of detectives and their victims as Laura actually helps Cooper solve the case. The scenes that best exemplify the effect Laura has are shown during the initial autopsy scene, Cooper’s dream of the Black Lodge, and the follow up where Cooper returns to the morgue.
Before Cooper is familiar with Twin Peaks or Laura’s murder, his actions are purely professional and analytical. Until he actually sees Laura’s body during his investigation at the morgue he refers to her only as “the dead girl.” She’s not just a dead girl though, and the flashing of the florescent light above her body seems to announce it: Laura heralds this connection before anyone else is aware of it.
A few episodes later, the flashing light motif returns as Cooper dreams of Laura together in a red room with a little dancing man. The situation is filled with an uncomfortable tension and is bizarre; Cooper is a wrinkled old man and the other two speak in a strangely scrambled language. The fact that Cooper dreams about Laura may not be especially significant but the fact that they both recognize each other in this odd place is. After the dancing man leaves Cooper and Laura alone, Laura seductively approaches. As Laura kisses him, the giddy excitement on his face afterwards is unmistakable. Laura whispers at length in his ear after which Cooper wakes up and promptly calls Truman, telling him he knows who killed Laura. Snapping his fingers to the lingering jazz, he decidedly insists that the information can wait until morning, hinting at a strong desire to go back to bed.....(!)
Cooper’s sexual desire for Laura is one that is definitely up for interpretation but his consequent emotional connection to her after the dream is not. Like most everyone in the community, Cooper has come to realize just how important Laura was to Twin Peaks, and sees her now in a much more personal way. To contrast the original autopsy scene, the return to the morgue powerfully solidifies Cooper’s emotional change toward Laura. When his bureau colleague Albert Rosenfeld coldly refuses to release Laura’s body to her family for burial, Cooper first allows Truman to punch his lights out and then insists Albert cooperate with the family’s wishes. In the ruckus Albert lands on Laura’s body, flinging her arm down limply by her side. After Cooper is alone with Laura, he stares at the dead arm, picks it up, and gently replaces it on her chest. He remains there for a moment before the scene cuts to a television screen broadcasting a soap opera. A deep male voice announces “Invitation to Love.”
Where Laura’s gender becomes significant is not only through her enticing sexual abilities but as her power as a mystic figure as well. There are not many characters in the series who are shown as equals to Cooper. What is ironic with the Cooper/Laura interaction is that such a connection is made between the living and the dead but also between a man and a woman. She may be dead, but she’s not subordinate and she’s not marginalized. Her identity as an American figure is somewhat troubling and in some ways exactly what the first season aims to examine. When it is eventually discovered that Laura was killed by Bob because she refused to let him control her, it is suggested that Laura died because of her strength, choosing death over subordination. This concept seems wonderfully applicable to both genders but that a teenage character was chosen to fulfill this sentiment is impressive. While the show uncovers a host of disturbing activities surrounding Laura’s murder, none are quite so distasteful as Bob’s obsession to posses Laura or the role abuse plays within her life and death.