ZZZzzzzzzzzz. . . .

Goodness. My eyesight must really be going. I had to enlarge this screen like three times in order not to squint.

Anywho, 24 was a real bore tonight. I'm considering abandoning ship already just from this most recent ridiculously UNINTERESTING badness. I so SO long for the days of President David Palmer, his double-crossing wife, TONY ALMEIDA, and Jack working for CTU. I get that he's just this free agent of the system, a loose cannon not affiliated with any certain agency, but somehow this makes him LESS of a bad ass, if you ask me. At least when he had to answer to someone his rebelious nature and tendency toward unorthodox methods DROVE THE SHOW! Now it doesn't matter if he "goes dark," as he is already dark, always; no one cares! How disappointing. I have a right mind to get the second season (year of the blond Warner girls, Kate being the platypus (eventual) love interest) on netflix and start ENJOYING my Mondays again.

Yes. And speaking of Platypuses, Matt and I figured out that Dana Walsh, the highly distracted analyst with the white trash ex-boyfriend, looks very much like one. We started answering for her whenever she had any dialogue.

1. "Well, I'll help you with that in a moment, Chloe, first I have to go polish my beak."

2. "Yes, Arlo, I'll be right back! (I just have to go and bury my eggs in the mud)."

3. "I can't be on the phone anymore, Kevin, I have an appointment for a pedicure (for my webbed feet)."

I don't think she's ugly. She's actually very pretty, but she has a certain, LOOK to her, and the show is so boring it's forcing me into this.

Getting warmer. . .

This one was way more what I'm talkin' about. . . .
No Kim, minimal Taylor, and something happens! GREAT!

I did kind of enjoy Renee Walker a little bit better with all that black shit on her face; somehow she looks all good and innocent after she washes it off in the shower, which doesn't really jive with what happens next (being made to get busy with the Russian). Why did she need to take a shower anyway? I mean, obviously he wants her junk. Nakedness is not going to help matters.

Jack seems really put off by her having relations with Vlad. He actually is quite convincing as the jealous boyfriend type, maybe because he hasn't yet been able to "deliver" with any of the chicks he shacks up with. . . he just gets his manhood sliced (symbolically) left and right, once you really think about it.
He impregnates his wife, TERRI, but does not get to meet the fruit of his loins as TERRI is killed by NINA, with whom he's also had romantic relations. NINA outsmarts him for 3 seasons before he finally kills her. BLOND GIRL (from season 2) is thrown over by Jack, presumably due to his heroin addiction. CLAUDIA, Mexican girlfriend is killed due to complications during attempted escape during heroin addiction. AUDREY. . . loses her mind trying to get Jack out of China and is incapacitated. That chick he shacked up with (with the teenage son) almost gets gassed to death because of terrorists who want Jack. Not a great track record with the ladies. And now Renee. Lotsa luck, you two.

I also had a chuckle at the Russian hood, to Jack, "du hast eine Amerikanische Accente." "Funny, NOT AS BAD AS YOURS!!"
They could have coached that guy a bit better, Keifer did a way better job with the German lines, if you ask me.

Nice glasses.

I'm getting hopeful. I enjoy how this time around (SO FAR) they've kept all the bad business out of the White House. I just think that's bad for the morale of this country. I mean, we could all sort of buy it back when W. was in there, just because we were living with a moron for a president, so seeing one on 24 wasn't a stretch. Although Allison Taylor was pretty dense last year, I think this could only be seen as a dig toward what I'm sure the writers thought would be the would-be president, Hilary.

I still vote for a comeback by Nina Meyers. BEST. WOMAN. ON THE. SHOW.

2 hours of Bauer.

a few things so far, about 30 minutes in.

1. "JACK BAUER?" how many times can it be uttered?

2. Freddie Prinze is fine, but the girlfriend who also works for CTU is very mannish. A tall, mannish-looking mannequin. I don't want to seem prudish, but somehow I think a more professional dress code needs to be implemented? The sleeveless dress doesn't quite seem office-appropriate for CTU. Leave the jacket on, or take a page out of Renee's book from last year. I can't take you seriously as an CTU analyst when you look like you should instead be an Aveda consultant.

3. Bubba Gump is the director of CTU.

4. Horace (mathematician) from LOST is the Russian terrorist.

5. The "hitter' is very Amanda Plummer in Tales from the Crypt (PEGGY!) creepy. Meredith Michelle Reed. Ick. Blonds don't usually fare well on this show. Kim, the chicks in season 2, etc.

5. Kim Bauer sucks, as usual. Just gross.

6. Kim Bauer's hairstylist on the show has continuously made poor decisions for her, if it's been the same person all this time.

7. Grandpa Bauer? Whose bad idea was this? I hope for the sake of the plausibility of the story here that somehow this granddaughter factors into something significant down the road, otherwise, why, WHY do this? We realize that Jack is getting old, we do not need him in a grandfather role to further confirm this fact. AND NAMED TERRI, of course. This utter ridiculousness is almost completely page for page out of the Twilight books (and that is NOT a compliment). Although if you want to get picky, you could argue that Kim Bauer was the catalyst that set Terri Bauer's ultimate death in motion (I, for one, completely blame Kim openly for this, little spoiled teenage brat that she was, sneaking out in season 1).

8. I think that sawing the Russian's hand off may have been a bit too . . . reckless for Walker, in the first 4 episodes, anyway. She was always the "play by the rules" chick! Perhaps she's turned a corner and gone off the deep end.

9. Back in 2006 when I was (correctly) prophetizing Tony Almeida's eventual return, someone on a myspace group said it would never happen. That it was so far fetched that it would be like Nina Meyers and Ryan Chappelle strolling, arm-in-arm into CTU one day. Given the way that the show has gone in the last two seasons, I no longer think that even THAT is out of line as a plot twist. I actually would welcome Nina's return, joyfully.

10. You might think I am being overly critical of the show. I probably am, but that doesn't mean I still don't love it dearly. I do. There will always be room in my heart for Jack Bauer, no matter how outlandish the show gets.