Rewatching The Sopranos S2 E3 "Toodle-F**king-Oo"

Family Events: A friendly police officer informs Tony of an underage party at Livia's house. When he arrives, Meadow, Hunter, and others are drunk while another young man is carried out of the house on a gurney into an ambulance, having overdosed on X. Tony and Carmela discuss how best to punish Meadow for the party but feel powerless in knowing their words and actions mean very little to her. When confronted the next day, Meadow feigns regret over the situation and suggests her punishment should involve losing her credit card. Janice initially supports Meadow's independence but changes her mind after seeing the condition of Livia's house. She angrily confronts Tony and Carmela while Meadow listens from upstairs. Later Carmela apologizes to Janice and emphasizes the importance of family. When Tony returns to Livia's house to have the locks changed, he finds Meadow inside, cleaning up the mess.

Mafia Events: Richie Aprile is released from prison; his first move as a free man is to severely assault Paul "Beansie" Gaeta at his pizza parlor. Richie's reunion with Tony is happy but Christopher is humiliated when Richie calls out his domestic abuse of Adriana, Richie's niece. Tony agrees that Chris should heed Richie's warning but then refuses to discuss any further business with him and abruptly leaves. 

Later Tony agrees to discuss business at a mall, but offers little support to Richie, who feels disrespected by Tony's avoidant manner. In his betrayal, Richie goes to Junior and offers his allegiance. At a homecoming party for Richie at Bada Bing, Chris comments on Richie's hostile attitude; Tony assures him things will be alright. That night, Richie returns to Beansie's place and assaults him again, worse, this time striking him multiple times with his car. Tony visits Beansie in the hospital, becomes disturbed by his condition, and then angrily confronts Richie at the mall again. Richie feels his actions were justified.

Mental Health Events: Melfi is at an Italian restaurant with friends when she runs into Tony eating with his crew. She is tipsy from wine and behaves in a silly, flirtatious way, prompting the crew's assumption that she and Tony have a sexual history. While Tony entertains these notions, he is uncomfortable seeing Melfi as she previously refused to continue therapy with him. In her own therapy, Melfi discusses having shown Tony the girlish side of herself due to the guilt she felt over abandoning him as a patient. Later in a dream, she drives by the aftermath of a car accident, where Tony has had a panic attack and crashed, killing himself to the accompaniment of a Wizard of Oz instrumental.

Significant Ideology: Tony's powers of intimidation, while effective among the members of his crew, have no effect on the women of his family. He rarely loses his temper with Carmela, more in her presence but never threateningly, and both Janice and Meadow do not give a single fuck, even when he tries to specifically be threatening. Carmela continues to model positive conflict resolution, apologizing to Janice in a healthy way after their disagreement, and standing up for her beliefs (she won't throw Janice out as "it's not Christian") in front of her children. This is interesting in considering how Meadow eventually accepts responsibility for what happened to Livia's house. Meadow's actions were likely influenced by Carmela's morality and Janice's expressed disapproval, although part of her may have been onto the fact that Janice, if allowed to stay in their house, would continue to have a front-row seat to any further bullshit Meadow might get herself up to. In this way, Meadow ensures Janice will have a place to go, away from her. However, Meadow took pride in her ability to manipulate Tony and Carmela multiple times, and just before Tony observes her cleaning, had left another mess in the kitchen of her own house, making cocoas and grilled cheese sandwiches with Hunter. The writing choices showing Meadow as reckless, cunning, unapologetic, disrespectful, and finally, remorseful and accepting of blame are realistic; teenagers do all these things, and this is typical of normal adolescent development (albeit more so in teenagers who have support at home and who are accustomed to getting the majority of their needs met). The confusion between Tony and Carmela in navigating how to punish Meadow along with Tony's surprise at the end indicates a situation many parents find themselves in when dealing with their children at this age----they don't know enough about the developmental process to understand that Meadow's actions are appropriate for her age and start to panic as their control slips away. Janice, who has not raised children, has learned this somehow, but her empathy for Meadow's quest for individualization ends once it affects her, personally. Janice and Tony were likely punished physically as children; conversations suggest that they were both into sexual and criminal events as teenagers. Carmela's upbringing, in contrast, seems to have been very different, as evidenced by her patience, ability to apologize and forgive, and conflict resolution skills. 

Richie's calculated and unapologetic violence is disturbing, as is his strategic target of each member of Tony's family. His cool, detached manner gives the impression of a very snake-like personality yet at times, his affect is mismatched for the many of the occasions throughout the episode. His smiles toward Tony and even Janice seem faked, while his gleeful expressions while torturing Beansie are much more genuine. He seems shocked at Tony's adherence to speaking in safe areas, and mentions "old school" in reference to himself several times. Ten years is a long time to be in jail; Richie has missed the entirety of the 90s and doesn't seem to understand how much everything has changed. He seems not only to be a sociopath but a very comfortable one, begging the question of how many guys in the crew hold the same values. Tony has clearly been socialized to more emotionally-focused culture due to his wife, who seems to be an emotionally healthy person, his children, who he loves, and now, therapy with Melfi. Richie definitely seems at odds with this, both fundamentally and personally (is he jealous of Tony?)

Melfi's focus on Tony as an element of her own mental health is significant. She was justified in protecting her own safety in terminating therapy with him, yet feels guilty for having done so. What is not explored in her own therapy is her flirtatious reaction toward Tony in context. She happened across him on what was solidly his turf---upscale Italian restaurant, mafia crew occupying the house's best seating, and Tony, the boss, at the head of the table. This happened once before, in the pilot episode, where Melfi had just recently met Tony and maintained his confidentiality by keeping their conversation (which he initiated) short and surface-level, but this time was different. They are no longer in a therapeutic relationship, which was her choice, so there is no issue with their talking in public, but Melfi initiated this time, and prolonged the conversation. With her guard somewhat lessened due to her wine consumption, was she acting upon feelings of attraction that had existed throughout Tony's therapy (drunk actions = sober wishes?) She denounced them the next day in therapy, and they didn't discuss her feelings in the context of the therapeutic relationship (Eliot validates her actions as a woman and a doctor but does not get into countertransference in terms of attraction), but now, after all this, she's dreaming about him, too.

Italian Language: Cazzis ("that's none of your fucking cazzis"); closest translation = "Non sono cazzi tuoi," which is "none of your business."

"Oofah, Ma, state zitt'" (After Livia launches into "I wish the Lord would take me") = "shut up."

Rewatching The Sopranos S2 E2 "Do Not Resuscitate"

Family Events: Tony confronts Janice about the for sale sign, later at the hospital Livia accuses Janice of wanting to take her house. After speaking with Meadow ("what is she into?" "NEGATIVITY!") Janice uses a Pavarotti CD to charm Livia. When Janice offers to take Livia home to live, she says she'd rather go back to Green Grove. Janice tries to convince Tony to sign a "do not resuscitate" order; AJ overhears the conversation and innocently admits everything to Livia during a visit.

Livia calls Carmela from the hospital and babbles about nothing; Carmela hangs up on her when she begins to criticize her children but adds first, "THEY ARE ALL UNHAPPY."

Mafia Events: Tony visits Junior in prison; Junior insists that Livia had no part in the assassination attempt and that Tony make peace with her. Junior's guy Bobby Baccalieri meets the crew at Satriale's where Tony explains which of Junior's businesses he'll be allowed to keep. Junior is released from custody on house arrest due to his health issues but once back home falls in the shower. When he refuses an ambulance, Tony picks him up and carries him to the car. 

A group of Black activists protest at a Masserone Brothers Construction site; the owner arranges with Tony to handle the issue. Tony meets with the leader's father, a reverend, and likes him, but still orders his crew to attack the activists. 

In a flashback, Pussy is driven home after a medical procedure by Skip, revealing that Pussy has been working with federal agents since 1998.  

Significant Ideology: Livia throws out many contradictions, switching gears a few times throughout the episode. In what seems to be a one-off conversation with AJ, Livia says, "daughters take better care of their mothers," explaining how Janice comes every day to play pinocle with her but earlier criticized Janice for being unable to stay in New Jersey and for being unable to stand herself. She also introduced the idea that Johnny Soprano might not have been the "saint" she's been praising all this time and after hearing the disturbing news about the DNR, begins mentioning hidden money she has stashed away to both Janice and Carmela while bizarrely mixing up family names and whispering nonsensical chatter. 

The unnamed reverend Tony meets with unfortunately dies; Junior falls and has potentially broken his hip. The older generation is declining, as the reverend stated, but in all of the cases, the sons in this story are (or in Tony's case, were) the ones caring for their elders. Janice is an opportunist, in town only to capitalize on Livia's disability, and this has been observed and commented upon by Tony, Barbara, and even Livia, who may be confused, but who definitely knows her own daughter's cunning. While Tony has refused to make peace with her (as Junior and Janice have both encouraged), he is somehow roped into caring for Junior, the man who arranged to have him killed. While he hasn't explicitly stated that he forgives either of them, his interactions with Junior, first arranging through Bobby to allow him to continue earning and then physically hauling him to the car after his injury suggest that Tony still loves his uncle. The difference with Junior is of course that he has no one else; for the time being, Livia has Janice (and Meadow, who seems sympathetic). 

The insertion of the Pussy-being-an-informant into a crew heavy episode like this one shows the vigorous nature of Tony's position as boss and how the constant chaos allowed for such a problem. When he's not dealing with Junior, he's dealing with Masserone Brothers, when he's not dealing with staging a riot between his crew and the protesters, he's arranging with the reverend's son and hacking up construction deal spoils. When he gets home, Janice grills him about Livia's house and the DNR after he's explicitly told her not to mention their mother. There was no mention of Christopher (although his two finance bros derped their way into the riot) nor of Tony's mental health. Things were just too busy.

Italian Language: disgratziata (Pussy in regard to Livia when Skip says "this fuck tried to suffocate his own mother"): poor, wretched, unfortunate, unlucky

Rewatching The Sopranos S2 E1 "Guy Walks Into a Psychiatrist's Office"

Family Events: Oldest sister Janice Soprano shows up, when she asks about Livia, Tony says, "she's dead to me" and that he's selling her house. Meadow visits Livia in the hospital; Livia gives her two of her own grandmother's rings so that she won't be forgotten. Tony arranges a house party for Janice and their other younger sister, Barbara. When he finds the "for sale" sign for Livia's house hidden in Janice's car, Tony rages to Carmela about Janice's intentions.

Mafia Events: Junior's "Boss" standing in the FBI's photo lineup is downgraded; Tony's picture remains in its place but is relabeled "Street Boss." Pussy returns, surprising Tony as he gets his morning newspaper. He admits to Tony he knew they all suspected he was the rat but that he had been away for his back problems in Puerto Rico. Tony forgives him but pats down his body to check for a wire. 

Junior's guy, Philly Parisi, is assassinated, apparently for being "a bigmouth fuck," and spreading rumors about Tony's treatment of Livia and seeing a female psychiatrist. Christopher is given a SEC compliance officer role in a brokerage office; two younger guys he brings in use physical threats to force everyone to push "Webistics" stock.

Mental Health Events: Tony crashes into a telephone pole when he has a panic attack; he sees a new male therapist who refuses to treat him for more than a single session. Tony continues to have issues with controlling his anger over Janice's actions and seems to struggle with further panic symptoms during the party at his house. Eventually he surprises Melfi, who is not receptive to seeing him. He attempts to discuss his recent panic attacks with her but she refuses to talk to him about it or anything else. She snaps, "How many more people need to die for your personal growth?" 

That was a different time for us.

Significant Ideology: The passage of time is shown in both the beginning of the episode (the montage of everyone going about their activities to Sinatra's "It Was a Very Good Year,") as well as the end (acknowledged through a cover of The Rolling Stones' "Time is on My Side"). Changes in Tony's life are part of the importance of the passage of time, including his fallout with Livia, professional breakup with Melfi, concerns over Junior in prison, Christopher launching off on his own as a broker, and Pussy's possible involvement with the feds. The one constant, reliable figure in his life throughout these changes is Carmela. Her montage footage was wholly focused around the delivery of lasagna from oven to table, just as she closes the episode by presenting Tony with a bowl of spaghetti after he comes home confused and upset from being rejected by Melfi. She helps Tony regulate his emotions over Livia's house and Janice's meddling and encourages him to find pleasure in being with his friends. Knowing Melfi had been helpful to him in the past, Carmela insists Tony resume therapy, citing among other reasons that they have not had sex in "God knows how long." 

Though there have been no such scenes between Carmela and Tony, Tony has what is assumed to be frequent relations with his goomar, Irina. Without reading too much into what has been shown thus far, (Tony admits to offering Carmela oral sex only once a year on her birthday, Tony does not do much other than lie there with Irina, Tony has had sexual fantasies about Melfi) it seems as though there might be specific expectations for his relations with Carmela that either don't come easily to him (emotion, genuineness, consideration for her needs) or that he just doesn't make the time for when he can use Irina for his own needs without any further provisions. Carmela wants him, physically, and is doing everything else she can to manage the house, the kids, and feeding everyone, but Tony seems to need her nurturing more than anything else. Carmela's mother in criticizing Livia (and it seems her own daughter's marriage) reminds her that Livia told her on their wedding night that marrying Tony was a mistake, that he'd only get bored with her; whatever he is currently, bored or something else, he needs Carmela more than ever. In some scenes, ("you mope your way through this and I will cut your throat," and he LISTENS TO HER) she actually seems to wield more power than anyone.

WILL YOU STOP, PLEASE?

Tony tells Janice that a doctor told him Livia's "stroke" was actually a conversion reaction; this is a mental health disorder and would typically prompt treatment from a psychologist. Surprise, Livia should be in therapy! 

Chris hits Adriana in the club (as in, full public with onlookers) in front of his two broker associates. For this and various other reasons, Christopher could also benefit from some psychological help.

Italian Language: Batiamo le mani - I kiss the hand; my respects (when the crew explains to Pussy that Tony arranged his pickups while he was away). 

Schifosa (you fucking) unsatisfactory/trashy re: Silvio's performance of Kay Adams asking Michael Corleone "is it true, Michael?"

Streg (re Livia, she's the devil, said to Janice) strega, witch

It occurs to me.....

After the first episode of The Sopranos last week, that over and over, the predominant theme here is this: IT'S THE MOTHER'S FAULT. DO YOU HEAR ME? THE MOTHER!!!!!!!! nothing else matters.

mothers out there, beware.