Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.

The Book:


Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, by J. K. Rowling, 2005.

I remember reserving this at Border's and literally flying through the pages when it first came out. When it ended, I could hardly believe how excited I was for the final novel; I never, ever stopped believing in Snape. And I did cry at the conclusion, both then and now. As a reader, just as with being a film-viewer, I bring a lot of sentimentality with me--I'm not hard to please, really, I just need to identify with characters, even slightly, and I'll be with them till the end. This is why LOST resonated so fully with me (and probably millions of others), I care about these people, even if they're fictional. I think Harry Potter in general gets lumped into fad-ish, unimportant,  Tiger Beat fodder, but there is more than meets the eye, especially in considering the books as well as the films. And people can dog Rowling all they want, obviously she's not infallible, but she's a great character writer and I'm glad she's here.

Pleasing British Vernacular: "prat," (enormous idiot) "Wotcher," (what you up to?) and "ruddy," (an intensive). "I'm a ruddy teacher, aren' I, yeh sneakin' Squib!" said Hagrid.

Draco feels the strain. . .

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, 2009, directed by David Yates.

I didn't love this, but I think it was well done. Mostly I enjoyed Slughorn's ridiculous ding-bat smiles throughout, they're really quite funny. I thought Malfoy (Tom Felton) was spectacular, he looked shifty and pained pretty much the entire film, and his crying scenes were right on. The scene with Dumbledore and the Inferi at the lake looked exactly as I had envisioned it would; Dumbledore's death as well. The one thing that really stops me from liking this film very much is the ending. After Dumbledore has been killed, McGonagal steps out onto the grounds with the nurse and all the other students and immediately points her wand at the Dark Mark that is hovering over the castle, blasting it away with bright light and everyone joins her. It's supposed to be emotional and tender, the score is sad, but it pisses me off every time. In the book, I don't think the Dark Mark could be removed, or it was much harder than just a bunch of kids playing lumos with their wands; in any event, (and I rarely say this) it was too sentimental. Fade to black, show Hagrid carrying Dumbledore's corpse away, show McGonagal in a panic with the former headmasters' portraits, but don't everyone point their wands in the air, that was just cheesy and weak.

Don't forget Slytherin!

Deathly Hallows, coming up next. And not a moment too soon, either; I've been  d y i n g  to talk about Tarantino, it's almost bursting out of me.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

The Book:

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, by J. K. Rowling, 2003.

870 pages. (sigh). Some of my favorite things happen in this novel. I love the deeper insight into Sirius, James, and Snape; Weasley twins are always aces in my book. There are some topics that get a bit over-done, such as Quidditch, the house elves (again), and there is one thing at the near conclusion that is so ridiculous it literally makes me furious every time I read it (I've read this book a few times), and it's the stupid DANCING-LEGS curse that the Death Eater puts on Neville at the Ministry of Magic when all hell is breaking loose. I can't think of something less Death Eater-like than a curse that makes one's legs dance; how about simply removing the legs? Biggest critique of the entire series of novels is that. Ridiculous. Nonsense.

Moving on, pleasing literary bits?

1. British vernacular: rubbish, as in everything negative being described as, someone being "bang out of order," and "Jolly Good."

2. Descriptions of Dolores Umbridge's foulness were wonderful: ". . . they found Professor Umbridge already seated at the teacher's desk, wearing the fluffy pink cardigan of the night before and the black velvet bow on top of her head. Harry was again reminded forcibly of a large fly perched unwisely on top of an even larger toad," and Harry's statement to Sirius in a letter, Umbridge being "nearly as nice as your mum," (who is the screaming woman in the portrait, hurling insults to Mudbloods and Blood Traitors whenever they disturb her).

3. People are much crabbier in this novel. "'You know,' said Phineas Nigellus, even more loudly than Harry, 'this is precisely why I loathed being a teacher! Young people are so infernally convinced that they are absolutely right about everything. Has it not occurred to you, my poor, puffed-up popinjay, that there might be an excellent reason why the headmaster of Hogwarts is not confiding every tiny detail of his plans to you?'" (well said, mate).

I enjoyed it well enough. However, I think this book made for *the best* film adaptation, so when I think of the goings-on of The Order of the Phoenix, I prefer to really just think of the better, condensed, more cinematic version, if you want to read on.

The Film.


Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, 2007, directed by David Yates. 138 minutes.

A masterpiece, my favorite, favorite Potter. I find the entire film to be extraordinary, but as I'm a bit short on time, I'll spare you another drawn-out ramble and just say that this film has the best beginning and ending I've ever seen. The dry sun at the park quickly replaced by the storm clouds and darkness and THAT RUN DOWN THE FIELD BY HARRY AND DUDLEY? Beautifully thrilling, say nothing of the damned dementors just slinking into that tunnel.

And the entire sequence in the Ministry of Magic, starting with Sirius punching (my boy!) Lucius Malfoy right in the face? Dueling! The Aurors! Avada Kadavra! "You comin' to get me?" HBC as Bellatrix, killer!

OMFG. Right. On.

And Voldemort vs. Dumbledore? Utterly amazing, like a wizardy  Dooku vs. Yoda. The scene of Voldemort causing the power of Dumbledore's previous spell to ripple and build from his feet up to his chest and then flailing his arms out, BLASTING every surface in the Ministry to bits---this is my favorite scene from any film, ever. Hands down. It's fucking brilliant.

This film really just makes me happy. David Yates, you're aces. And there were wonderful high-quality images available for this, so enjoy!

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

The Book:

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, 2000, by J. K. Rowling.

734 pages, this was. And truth be told, many of them got a little bit winded, but the action in the book's last four chapters makes the entire, if longish, experience worthwhile. A good editor maybe would have axed everything the screenwriter eventually did (house elves, Crouch family back story, Voldemort's rambling explanation to the Death-Eaters, Rita Skeeter as a (beetle) animagus, etc.) but if you love the series, you can probably handle all the extra business in this book, I did.

1. Pleasing British vernacular? "LOT." I love this and it just keeps popping up, for instance:

Arthur Weasley: "You lot---get into the woods and stick together!" and "I think I'll take my lot back to the tent, if nobody's got any objections."

Mad Eye Moody: "Look at that, you lot . . . Potter fought! He fought it, and he damn near beat it!"
(I also dig Moody's little paranoid actions throughout and the CONSTANT VIGILANCE! he's always harping at the students.)

2. Last rant I had a little go at everything always happening to Potter, and it comes up. . .

"'Look,' said Hermione patiently, 'it's always you who gets all the attention, you know it is. I know it's not your fault,' she added quickly, seeing Harry open his mouth furiously. 'I know you don't ask for it . . . but---well---you know, Ron's got all those brothers to compete against at home, and you're his best friend, and you're really famous---he's always shunted to one side whenever people see you, and he puts up with it, and he never mentions it, but I suppose this is just one time too many. . . .'"

3. Other completely random things that I dug were referring to Nagini (giant snake) as "some horrible travesty of a pet dog" as it curled up on the rotting hearth rug, and Dumbledore responding, "Quite Understandable. Continue." when Harry states that he had fallen asleep in Divination.

Fun book. Lotta ins, lotta outs. And someone somewhere would do good to write some sort of (scum) manifesto about explaining and defining the magical terms. As in, the differences between hexes, curses, and jinxes, as they seem interchangeable. And what differentiates a charm from an enchantment? Or a spell? A chart comparing Muggle remedies with Magical Potions. Firm perimeters of what can or cannot be summoned, reproduced, repaired, or transfigured. An entire outline devoted to means of travel, fireplace networks, apperating/disapperating, etc.

Yeah?

The Film:

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, directed by Mike Newell, 2005.

157 minutes. I don't really have much on this. It's my second-least favorite film, I think it's everyone's hair. Moody's scenes are the best, notably the turning of Malfoy into the ferret, telling McGonagal he was "teaching." This film suffers horribly from too-little Snape.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

The Book:

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, 1999, by J. K. Rowling.

One of my favorite books in the series, and one of the best film adaptations as well. So many creatures in this book! Dementors, Werewolves, Animaguses, and Hippogriffs? They made for a lovely story, my favorite parts were these. I won't touch the bit about time-turning, although it's quite a vital piece to the narrative. But in terms of polite criticisms, (I very much consider myself a huge fan, so don't get mad, I'm just bein' real) there comes a bit of exasperation in this novel, and onward through to the end, that everything, ever in existence at Hogwarts that will ever happen, must happen to Harry. No wonder Ron gets a bit moody in the next book. I mean, Harry has been through a lot, granted, and his life with the Dursley's was very unpleasant, but Harry gets to see the mirror of Erised, gets the Invisibility Cloak, finds the diary, gets to ride Buckbeak, gets to learn to make Patronuses, etc., etc., etc. Doesn't anyone else at Hogwarts ever do anything, EVER? Or are they just a bunch of clueless gits? I'd be feeling very cast aside if I was a student there. True some of these things could only have happened to Harry because of his history, but really. It seems as if he's favored quite a bit by all of the professors and exceedingly in the wrong place at the wrong time, every time. And don't get me wrong, I like the stories, but sometimes everything seems a little slanted, as if we, the reader, are just reading about a Harry Potter game that Harry alone is playing, everyone else is background.

But I do think it was written well, and the writing is much improved even from the first two. Maybe Rowling allowed herself to get a little more British with her verbiage after she'd gained herself a solid enough following, or the characters just took a while to get comfortable in their lines, but some of my favorite dialogues in this novel are these (British) utterances, rhetorical question asked as statement followed with affirmation question (there is probably a much nicer, more literary way to describe that):

Harry: What if I accidentally let something slip?
Uncle Vernon: You'll get the stuffing knocked out of you, won't you? She does this a few times, this phrasing, and I loved it.


Something else I liked: "It was Professor Trelawney, gliding toward them as though on wheels. She had put on a green sequined dress in honor of the occasion, making her look more than ever like a glittering, oversized dragonfly."

The Film:


Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, directed by Alfonso Cuaron, 2004.

Very much a favorite. The kids are getting older and are much less McGoo, and the events are getting darker. The actors are comfortable enough in their roles, new Dumbledore (Michael Gambon) = aces, and Snape is really killer in this one (storming into DADA class, slamming the window hangings closed, "PAGE THREE-HUNDRED-AND-NINETY-FOUR!")

The filmmaking in this one is probably the best of any due to the imagery and sound. The opening scene where Marge gets inflated is funny subject matter on its own, but the constant cuts from her to Dudley getting pelted in the face with her beads as they pop to the random cuckoo clock opening and closing with a jaunty little orchestral score going? These things added so much; very, very well done. There is more of this technique-lending-a-hand-to-narrative when Lupin shows the class the boggert in the closet and Pavarti's clown bends back and forth, slowing down (slow motion) from a low POV into Harry's dementor; it's creepy and it's effective. We are jarred and taken aback just like Harry. Great scene on the Quidditch field as Harry falls from hundreds of feet up; Dumbledore rises in the stands, "ARRESTO MOMENTUM!" the voice sounds as if inside an echo chamber and everything goes black (my favorite scene from this film).

The coldness (ice, breath) that comes with the Dementors. And the close up on Lupin's eye and magnified heartbeat thumping when he sees the full moon. And Snape holding his arms out to shield Ron, Harry, and Hermione. And Gary Oldman as Sirius Black. Bravo, everyone.

One final note: I went last night, to The Deathly Hallows, and honestly loved every blasted minute of it. Cried for much of it. Wished it wouldn't end. Am considering going again. Will write it up in its proper slot in the chronology.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets

The Book:

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, 1998, by J.K. Rowling.

I can't sugar-coat this at all; this one is my least favorite of the all the books and all the films. There are some good things about it, but I think in the novel, Dobby and Gilderoy Lockhart just take up too many pages. If you're going to write annoying characters, don't get carried away with them, because who wants to read about DOBBY AND LOCKHART?

That said, I think it's made quite clear early on, in this book, especially, that Harry is no ordinary wizard. I mean, yes, he's a bit dense about things, and seems to always make the wrong decisions, but most of the other wizards seem to have a bit of a superiority complex when it comes to other magical beings such as house elves, the Hogwart's ghosts, centaurs, goblins, etc. Harry seems to always take everyone at their word, and to extend the old golden rule, as it were. Good work, and good alliance-building for later, too! Isn't it Dobby that throws himself in front of Bellatrix's golden knife to save Harry in the last novel?

Some nice passages:

"When Filch wasn't guarding the scene of the crime, he was skulking red-eyed through the corridors, lunging out at unsuspecting students and trying to put them in detention for things like 'breathing loudly,' and 'looking happy.'"

"But Lockhart's disgusting cheeriness, his hints that he had always thought Hagrid was no good, his confidence that the whole business was not at an end, irritated Harry so much that he yearned to throw Gadding With Ghouls right into Lockhart's stupid face."

"The sides of the car were scratched and smeared with mud. Apparently it had taken to trundling around the forest on its own."


The Film:

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, 2002, directed by Chris Columbus.

161 minutes is way too long. What I said above about Dobby and Lockhart applies here, too. Cut every one of their scenes by at least half and this film is right back on track. They got it right by giving us more Weasleys, more Snape, and (hello, delicious) Lucius Malfoy. Wonderful, just wonderful. Dueling scene, good (close up on Snape when Harry reveals he's a parsel-mouth?!). The chamber scenes and Tom Riddle, good. Ron's contorted grimace all the time got a little tired, but still love him.

I debated going to the midnight showing of Deathly Hallows tonight but seriously cannot justify it, especially considering it'd probably be sold out, and it's a bit on the chilly side. I'm heading over to SLP tomorrow night. Anyone in?

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

The Book:

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone, 1997, by J.K. Rowling.

As a book, especially a debut novel, I think it's quite good. It's quick, funny, and despite being classified as young adult fiction, clever enough to entertain most adult readers. I think it's a story well worth reading, or at least reading to your kids. Mine love these books, and the random details they remember from all of them is downright shocking. It's a fun time.

Most of my favorite passages are the slightly snappy-attitude bits:
". . . for Neville had been tugging on the sleeve of Harry's bathrobe for the last minute. 'What?'
Harry turned around--and saw quite clearly, what."

"Chess was the only thing Hermione ever lost at, something Harry and Ron thought was very good for her."

Something I think you really need the book to explain is how Ron's wand keeps misfiring and making all kinds of mistakes; I don't think they come right out and say in the film that it's second-hand, but the book does, it had belonged to one of his brothers. Useful information. The little poems and chants are funny enough but get a little long in a story like this where everyone really just wants to read what happens next. The only complaint I have is about the ending; I wanted a little more than "it was one of my more genius ideas," from Dumbledore about Harry being able to majestically "get" the stone simply because he wanted to obtain it but not use it. But it made a little more sense to me in the book than in the film, and the mirror of Erised seemed a lot less random considering what it ultimately got used for; so I'm easy, I can dig it.

Look how little and squeaky they were!

The Film:


Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, 2001, directed by Chris Columbus.
152 minutes.

I mention the time only because I think it got a bit too long. As I run through the Potter series, I've learned one thing and it's the shorter the film, the better. My favorites have been the shortest in minutes, with no room for a lot of filler. This had a bit of filler, and was definitely McGoo, but the kids were pretty young yet, there's only so much darkness the target audience (or their parents) was going to be able to handle, although the ending probably made a few kids wet their pants a little.

Well done:
1. The Gringott's Bank scenes, especially the key system in the vaults.
2. Hogwarts as a structure and the mise en scene inside the castle.
3. The broom-flying.
4. Casting.

Bothersome:
1. Clunky scenes between Harry and Hagrid in Diagon Alley showing their differences in size.
2. The randomness of the Sorting Hat's list.
3. The scene with McGonagal and Neville on the stairs.
4. The bit about Seamus needing another feather in Flitwick's charms class.
Speed it up; these scenes were duds and just ate up the clock. This is one of those films that was definitely better at having the events show what was going on rather than having the actors try to discuss or describe things, with one exception, of course, and that's Snape. Alan Rickman is spectacular in everything he does, but quite honestly, he's the main reason I like these films. Rule #2 in Harry Potter? The more Snape, the better. He's aces, all the way.

Scorpio rivals Bobby Peru in gross factor: Dirty Harry.

Dirty Harry, 1971, directed by Don Siegel. "A San Francisco cop with little regard for rules (but who always gets results) tries to track down a serial killer who snipes at random victims."

Back in about 1989, my dad took us to some old video store in Willmar that was going out of business. They sold beta tapes; we had a beta VCR. I think Charlie and I each got to pick out a few movies and my dad got himself a box full. Of course it was a fight once we got home over whose film was going in first, and having paid for all of them, Dewey won. He chose this film, and while I wasn't exactly excited about watching it, I did. And loved it. And begged to watch all the sequels (which were also purchased that night). My mother was less than thrilled about this. I think she hates Dirty Harry (or anything with Clint Eastwood) just slightly less than she hates The Blues Brothers, which was another one Dewey, Charlie, and I absolutely loved. . . I'll give my mother credit, we probably made her crazy with all the ridiculous stuff we watched over the years. She picked Sophie's Choice and Terms of Endearment for her choices in the beta box that evening, btw.

Anyway. There are really only two things I'm going to say about this film, other than how much I love it. 

1. When this film came up in school, it was in an American Studies class (not Folwell Hall, surprise, surprise) and it was held as the most definitive example of Right-wing politics invading Hollywood for its time (1971). I sat in that class completely mesmerized, thinking, Jesus H, how did I miss all this? I mean, are you sure? The mayor, yes, was a clueless douche. Overly liberal? I don't know. Scorpio's peace sign belt buckle? Whoopee. Obviously he was not a spokesperson for the San Francisco Hippy movement as HE WAS KILLING PEOPLE FROM ROOFTOPS. AND RAPING 15 YEAR OLD GIRLS. I think the hippies would have passed on him, honestly. Harry's big gun a symbol? Yeah, whatever. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. And Scorpio was a goddamned criminal. End of story.

2. Speaking of Scorpio. Whoever they got to write this guy deserves an award for creating the most disgusting character, pretty much ever. It would be a good fifteen years before Lynch and Dafoe brought Bobby Peru into the running, but bloody hell, man! All the smiling and giggling and cackling . . .  "I just wanted you to know something, I've changed my mind! I'm going to let her die!" Said HAPPILY, about Ann Mary Deacon, rotting in the sewer, as if it's amusing! This guy was shittin' awful! It was almost painful how long it took for Harry to just finally end him. Like in 24, with some of those evil villains, the ones you're just praying will meet up with Bauer off the grid? It was fitting that Harry waited until Scorpio thought he had gotten the drop on him before pulling the trigger. Regrettably, it did not take his head "clean off." 

You tried to kill me! 

My favorite moments are Harry's first step onto the scene at the first murder (scowl, always the scowl), and the tossing of his badge into the river after he shoots Scorpio. And pretty much every line he utters during the whole film. . . 70s gold, man, 70s gold.