Monday, December 28, 2009

A few old Goodies

Best played-down performance, ever. DeNiro is a bit of a dolt, but Stallone more than makes up for it. I highly recommend checking out Cop Land if you haven't already.

Henry Thomas (ELIOT!) is quite good as the young Norman Bates in Psycho 4, The Beginning. Now, none of you Hitchcock purists need to get all up in my face about this, I'm not saying it's cinematic quality, but it is definitely cheese quality. I, for one, LOVE horror movie sequels, well, classic ones anyway. I first saw this business when it came out on HBO, maybe in the year 1988? Janet Leigh introduced it; it was very exciting for my brother and me. We also **thoroughly** enjoyed the previous two sequels, so we were pretty easy sells. There was an element this time around, now that I'm a mother myself, of sheer DISGUST at how Mother Bates (although being very caricatured about it) treated him, and how their twisted relationship almost stirred something emotional in me, especially as the young Master Bates is propping his strychnine-poisoned mother into the rocking chair to finish out her last breaths. Reliving it with the corpse in the rocker was a little more comical than emotional, but you get the point. Ahhhh! The Bates house is on fire! The shot at the end full on looks like a bad painting, but hey. I still had a good time.

Sunday, December 6, 2009


I am a little terrified, to be honest.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Yes, Yes, YES!

I hit some real winners this week. (We won't talk about MORTAL THOUGHTS which I turned off after 14 minutes; if anyone out there has actually sat through that movie and would be willing to admit it and give me a run down on where the hell it ended up going, plot-wise, I'd be willing to send them a pound of coffee).

ANYWAY. Some actual winners: The Cable Guy. I saw this in the theater and just didn't get into it. No one I knew really did. At the time it just seemed kind of. . . blah and not all that funny. This time? I found it very funny. And I'm sorry, but I am one of those people who really gets a kick out of Jim Carey. I just think he's outlandish and and hilariously annoying. Facial expressions, gangly limbs, weird voice things, all of it. So that he was playing this toned-down (for him, anyway) lisping cable dude just kind of made me chuckle a little. Matthew Broderick really isn't acceptable for me anymore unless we're talking Bueller. He is a wishy-washy LAME-O in virtually everything else he's done since that. I was actually rooting for "Chip" the whole time because Broderick's character was so boring. Ugh. Maybe his theater work is more interesting.

My absolute favorite moment in the whole film was when he calls Broderick after some sort of weird scenario where there is definite tension between them, and he is just mumbling and being really crass and groaning as he talks and then says, "Hang on a minute, I have call waiting" just as Broderick starts to get pissy with him, and he obviously stays on the line and just sits there and does this ridiculous groaning HUMMING to some sort of tune and then just ends it with a large, sarcastic NNAAAAAAAHHHHHH. And then picks up the conversation as if he'd actually been on the other line and the little performance was supposed to have been the HOLD MUSIC?!?!?!? I don't know why it struck me as being so funny but I really was dying from laughter. Many, many other parts gave me the giggles.

Lost Season 4, episode 1.
This is one of my favorite seasons just because it's so short and everything is just so "balls to the wall" because they don't have a lot of time to waste so it's basically all action. Season 4 also continues the grand tradition of basically anyone punching Ben Linus in the face if they're having a bad day. Ben is looking tough in this one. We get to meet Frank Lapidus, although not in this episode, which of course thrills me. Hurley tearing ass all over SoCal in his camero is pretty sweet. "YOU WANNA LAND YOURSELF BACK IN THE NUT HOUSE, REYES? CUZ I CAN MAKE THAT HAPPEN!"



This is seriously, honestly, one of my favorite films of all time. I hadn't seen it in a good couple of years and the absence from it only made my heart grow fonder. Seriously. WHO WRITES THIS STUFF?

1. The cool guys joke about Pee Wee and how he was so desperate to get laid that he wore a condom to his date.
2. They fix up this elaborate prank where all their friends think they'll get to roll with a stripper but instead get chased into the Everglades by a knife-wielding husband. Oh, and the stripper CHECKS them all out, naked before all this goes down. AND the stripper's name is Cherry Forever, played by Ma'am from Webster. About Pee-Wee? "What do you use for a jock strap, kid? A peanut shell and a rubber band? We'll have to tie a board across his ass, he's liable to FALL IN."
3. THE LASSIE SITUATION (Kim Cattrell as Miss Honeywell is genius).
4. THE MIKE HUNT SITUATION. (My favorite moment of the film).
7. Mickey. One of my favorite characters.
Seriously, the list goes on and on. I found the sequels to be equally entertaining. I especially like how they all got to wear 80s prom dresses at the end of Porky's Revenge.
This made my evening extremely joyful. I highly recommend checking it out if you haven't done so.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

In the meantime. . .

To all the men I've loved before. . .

A Lag. . .

We had H1N1 in the house and my baby has not been sleeping well. I shall blog more when sleep comes back to me. . .

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Monday's Hits.

1. Not since Carmella Soprano found out about Tony's Russians have I seen grief and despair in acting this spot-on. Jennifer Carpenter hasn't done much outside of Dexter, but her performance in the most recently aired episode ("Dirty Harry") was nothing short of phenomenal. It was absolutely amazing. Catch it.

2. I just finished reading Eclipse, of the Twilight series. And at this point, I'm growing a little tired of all the vampire business.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009


yes, I know I'm probably behind the times with this realization, but I very much approve.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

This is what I watch. . .

when LOST isn't on.

LOTR. My husband has forced me for the last four nights (before last) to watch these all over again. EXTENDED versions. I am agreeable and humor him by watching with him but I'm cross stitching my LOST Island Map at the same time. The only remarkable thing I can say about the films this time around is THOSE ORCS MAKE ME WANT TO GAG. Yuck. And Frodo needs to quit his bitchin'. Sam really deserves all the credit for hanging in there with Frodo that long, if you ask me. The whole thing is entirely too long, while marginally entertaining. I'd much rather read the books.

Yo Gabba Gabba. I really REALLY don't like that I like this show, but I do. I fought it for a pretty long time, and the male-voiced puppets still weird me out a little (Muno, Brobee, and Plex) but the rest of the show seriously cracks me up. Sometimes the music on this show is like one long Sixteen Candles soundtrack. It's cool.

And then you get things like THIS. Leslie, a guest "dancy-dancer" showed up to perform GLITTER HANDS GLITTER HANDS GLITTER HANDS GLITTER HANDS, RAZZLE DAZZLE! RAZZLE DAZZLE! Hilarious. Then her free-styling with the rest of the group? Hilarious! There are a few other things that I find funny, like everyone's random monotones and DJ Lance's FRICKING OUTIFT. . . . . it's definitely worth watching.

Pirates of the Carribean: At World's End.
My children have taken a liking to this series, my almost four-year-old daughter has the serious hots for Will Turner. Or she wants to be Will Turner, I can't figure out which. I love these. The most striking thing in this one, for me, is when The Flying Dutchman resurfaces at the end, the fish men all turn into real men again and Will Turner as he takes the helm as the new captain of the ship. Almost tear-worthy. The scenes with Calypso are nice too.

I Know What You Did Last Summer.

I on-demanded this last night and made it approximately 40 minutes. Did people actually watch this? I mean, I know I saw it in the theater (I was young and dumb) and all the rest of those late 90s new horror films like it, but wow. Jennifer Love Hewitt seems to have definitely influenced KRISTIN STEWART'S (bella swan) acting style, as in, gasp and glare a lot and just try to be mousy. . . .

and also, NICE FASHION. This coming from me, is serious, since I have no fashion sense at all. The long skirts in this film are almost ridiculous enough to make it worth watching. As I have never ever been able to stomach Ryan Phillipe, this film really didn't do him any favors, either, what a douch-ey character. I completely believe he's that big of a dick naturally, he was very convincing in the role. Gross.

Gosh I wish LOST was on.

Monday, October 12, 2009

Dexter Season 4

Yes, back again after a bit of a hiatus. Nothing really worth blogging about lately, save for the occasional LOTR film festival or various LOST reruns when I can get them. I gave True Blood a whirl, and while I kind of hated it at first, I let it grow on me and despite the fact that I didn't really find it blog-worthy (yet), I suppose I'd still consider myself a fan.

Onto Dexter.
Just some preliminaries, so I can just clearly state where I stand with this show. I love the show, I think the writing is awesome, and Michael C. Hall is **WONDERFUL**.
Batista=My Dexter-ish Frank Lapidus.
Masuda=Hilarious. Need more of him in every episode, please.
LaGuarda=acceptable. It took a few seasons to warm to her, but she's fine, I suppose.
Quinn=shady but is starting to grow on me. He and Deb as partners for some reason REALLY pleases me.

So to paraphrase a friend of mine's husband (about LOST characters, no less) we have Deb, YES, Batista, YES, Masuda, YES, LaGuarda, YES, Quinn, probably YES, and Rita?


I was fine with her during the first two seasons because she was so mousy and timid, not any sort of presence at all, really. And who couldn't feel sorry for someone with that witch of a mother, loser ex-husband, and kids with those names? ASTOR AND CODY? Geez. That's harsh.

This season she's just a nightmare. Now that they're married, I feel like she's turned the corner and become a totally unpleasant liability for Dexter, not just because he's committed to her and their kids and therefore is vulnerable, but because she's always just an annoying pain in the ass. Usually when she's in a scene I go get a snack or go to the bathroom. I suppose they are showing the kind of changes that occur when one goes from a dating to married status, or maybe it's that I've become so emotionally invested in Dexter that I have negative feelings toward anything that might be a downfall for him, which she definitely IS, but really, boo.

Other than that, 4th season is fine. With Lundy back and all the Lithgow-y serial killer grossness, I am expecting some good things here on in. WHO WAS THE GLASS OF BOOZE POURED FOR? (bludgeon-y male?)

On another note, it's hilarious for me (or hideous, maybe) watching John Lithgow play these GROSS, DISGUSTING creeps; because I know he's a dad and I have both of his family-centered books (Lithgow-Palooza and Lithgow-Party Palooza) and he's really a creative and devoted parent. I wonder what his kids think of him being such a slime on film? If my dad was an actor and did this I'd be completely grossed out and embarrassed. Yuck.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

If the clues to LOST really are in seasons 3 and 4, I am guessing the Orchid Station is going to hold all the answers to what happens, WHY, and how they're going to fix what happened.

When the crew is there (Jack, Sayid, Kate, Sawyer, Juliet, Hugo, Jin) in the 70s, the Orchid Station hasn't been finished yet. Faraday goes to it, knows it's there, and talks to Dr. Marvin Candle about being from the future. Dr. Marvin Candle doesn't die in the Swan Station incident, but he presumably loses his arm in that little crunch (which Miles saves him from), as the later Dharma videos show him with a prosthetic. Dr. Marvin Candle somehow gets involved with the rest of them and then together they use Faraday's journal and information to create or further the Orchid in order to be able to time travel to change or prevent some event from happening. The event could be anything. . . .

1. There was some confusion over WHO was really supposed to move the island at the end of season 4. Ben insisted that it had to be him as he claimed (to Locke) that Jacob wanted him to suffer the consequences (not being able to return). But later, when Locke talks to Christian after he falls down the well, Christian insists that JOHN was supposed to be the one to move it. ? ? ? ?
If John was initially the one to move the island the first time, he never would have been the one to fix that wheel when it was all cockeyed off its axis and maybe the interaction between Locke and Widmore would have been different? Or the flashes through time would not have happened the way they did because John would have done it right the first time. He would not have been out and about trying to get everyone back to the island and Ben would not have been able to kill him? We know that Richard can come and go as he pleases, maybe he could have brought John back?
Maybe the event they need the Orchid for involves preventing John's death (and subsequently Jacob's?)

2. Maybe they need the Orchid to fix something with Ben, to either prevent him from doing something or eliminating him altogether?

3. Something happened between Eloise and Widmore. What was it? She took off after having Dan, knowing what, that he would need to go to Oxford to figure out all his quantum physics and do his rat experiments? Dan just wanted to play piano.

4. Did Widmore order the Dharma extermination? Ben seemed to claim it was someone above him but never said who it was. Ben really only killed Roger Workman, and then when he returned Richard asked if he wanted them to get the body, Ben said NO. Richard **shot** Martin Keamy but did not kill him, and he did it to protect Ben. Widmore seems a little kill-happy. . . .(Rousseau, baby Alex). What if the whole time the OTHERS were in charge they were acting more by NOT-JACOB'S philosophy? Team smoke monster does not want outsiders on the island but if they happen to show up, they pick and choose which ones to keep on their team and then kill the rest? Ben seems to have a very Dharma-ish situation going on with the fertility experiments and recruiting. Locke taunts Ben for needing a submarine and having chicken in his refrigerator and therefore CHEATING; John is an island purist. Maybe Jacob thinks that everyone can share in the island and its miracle power which is why random people keep getting pulled in there?

5. Jack is going to have to DO something. It's gotta be about him in the end. His dad is roaming around the island and Claire just wandered off for absolutely no reason. Was this so eventually Jack and Kate would come back, because they felt responsible for her, Jack as a brother, and Kate as a surrogate mother for Aaron? I still think they need to explain Kate totally jumping Jack's bones the night before they left. . . .is she knocked up or what? Are they supposed to spawn a new breed of others?

Monday, June 29, 2009

A Difficult LOST quiz. . .

1. Mr Eko's Jesus stick falls out of a tree and almost hits John Locke in the face. When he picks it up, the first thing he reads on it is, "Lift up your face and go _______."

2. Juliet Burke's sister, Rachel gets pregnant, has a ______, and names the baby ________.

3. Goodwin receives a chemical burn on his arm and lies about how he got it. The dharma station where he works is the _________.

4. Jack's ex wife is named ________.

5. The three nicknames Sawyer uses for Cassidy, Kate, and Juliet, are, respectively, _____, _______, and ________.

6. The book that Juliet chooses for book club (that Ben wouldn't read on the toilet) is authored by _________.

7. Jack Shephard and Daniel Farraday both have something in common, concerning their education. What is it?

8. Charlotte's field of study is ___________.

9. Richard Alpert and Tom (Mr. Friendly) look on and do not intervene while John Locke beats the hell out of __________.

10. When Amy goes into labor, there is a complication that requires Juliet to get involved with the birth. The baby is _________.

Thursday, April 30, 2009

A small complaint. . .

All right. It's about high time someone explained why all the mothers on LOST are of the RABBIT variety? As in, is there one that can actually be considered a good one? This Eloise Hawking business better have some MAJOR significance to what happens in the long run.

I can sort of see Rousseau not being able to get Alex back, as they probably would have killed her.

I don't get Claire abandoning Aaron to hang out with Christian in the woods.

I don't get Kate going back to the island and just leaving Aaron, who'd she had been raising since he was 3 months olds.

Sawyer's mother was killed (absent).
Sun's mother seemed like she was out to lunch.
No mention of Sayid's mother, Desmond's mother, or Penny Widmore's mother.

Hurley and Charlie Pace seemed to have okay relationships but Charlie's mother croaked.
Kate obviously has mama issues.

Jin's mother was an evil whore.


Saturday, April 25, 2009

Who IS Daniel Faraday?

This has been puzzling me. He's been to the island, apparently multiple times. His mother knows both Ben and Charles Widmore. He does all kinds of crazy time travel experiments with a rat he named after his mother. He deserted his disabled girlfriend to go back to the island, and once he's back, he tells everyone else that the future can't be changed but then he HIMSELF contradicts this and speaks to Desmond in effort to change outcomes (presumably to save Charlotte.)

Is there some sort of twisted link with Widmore? Is he going back to the island to figure out how to save his first girlfriend? What does the mother have to do with this?

He has already kind of been proven a liar (saving your friends is not our PRIMARY objective---oh well, we were never going to take you off this island anyway), the future can't be changed, etc. Now he's getting on the sub and leaving the island at his leisure? Isn't this what brought Widmore down too? The island will not be pleased. Neither will John Locke. Maybe he's going to blow up the sub again, before he did it the first time just to prove his point.


Are we to expect Kate to start showing some pregnancy symptoms anytime soon?

Friday, April 3, 2009

Frank Lapidus

I think it's about high time I gave some real props to everyone's favorite pilot, FRANK LAPIDUS (Jeff Fahey).
There is just something about this guy that I really, really like on LOST. Many out there may have forgotten Mr. Fahey before now, but I have always appreciated him.

Some of his more memorable roles have included DWAYNE DUKE (just call me Duke) in Psycho 3, which is seriously one of my personal favorites, JOB in The Lawnmower Man, and the main character from one of the cheesiest horror films of the late 80s, BODY PARTS! Not to mention the chef JT in Planet Terror, you know, the one on the hunt for the best bbq sauce recipe (who then discovers his own blood to be the crucial ingredient?) Nice.

I see a Jeff Fahay film festival in the near future.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Lost Season 3

I just may need to permanently tape my glasses here and start up a website like RICHARDALPERT DOT COM. . . .




Season 3 is really valuable. This is what I am leaning toward a little over halfway through my review of it:

1. Juliet. Is "mole-ing" for Ben initially, but is doing so only because she knows he has access to her sister and son in Miami. The recording she leaves in his locker about Sun's pregnancy and the "I hate you" that she left out on the end seems to support this. She's definitely my favorite chick on the island. A fertility specialist who loves Stephen King? Genius.

2. The Episode "The Brig" is probably one of the most important in the season. Locke joins up with Ben and The Others, sees his father being held in a room (Ben told Richard to bring him The Man from Tallahassee) and then gets is humiliated by Ben in front of the entire camp when he is unable to slit the guy's throat. Ben says to everyone, "I GUESS HE'S NOT WHO WE THOUGHT HE WAS."

Hmmm. I smell a super elaborate set-up here. Ben KNOWS that John Locke is who they all think he is, and therefore must humiliate him to get the peoples' allegiance back until the next issues arises. How rude. This comes to pass in several other situations down the line, and always, someone important seems to intervene or help John stay on the right path (Walt, Richard, Christian Shephard, etc.).

I don't buy that Ben is trying to "test" John or to get him to find his own strength. Richard, on the other hand, comes to John with Sawyer's file and explains that the old guy (Locke's dad) has got to go. Knowing that Locke won't do it himself, Richard gives John the file that presumably explains that Cooper not only ruined Locke's life by stealing his kidney, treating him with cruelty, and pushing him out a window, but also Sawyer's, as he was the original "Sawyer" who caused James Ford/Sawyer's father to go ape shit, ruining another life.

I love Richard Alpert.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

A revisit to season 2

A few things:

1. This season was completely about John Locke and Eko.

2. Every time Locke seems to fall off the chosen path, the island messes with his legs.

3. John was meant to find the Swan Station, but never to be the button-pusher.

4. It was important for John to find the Pearl Station in order for him to realize he was never meant to be the button-pusher, but he completely overreacted and lost his faith (momentarily).

5. In trying to save Locke during the second lockdown with Desmond inside the Swan, Eko WHIPS IN HIS JESUS STICK, which just barely makes it inside (like Indy grabbing his hat in Temple of Doom) when the doors come down. Signficant.

6. Yemi and Ana Lucia both tell Eko in a dream how to get John to find the Pearl Station. Libby and Desmond met before and she gives him her boat.

7. When Desmond resets the island with the key underneath the Swan Station, those Portuguese dudes in the arctic see the flashing on their computer and call Penny Widmore, saying, "I think we may have found IT." She's looking for the island? Did the old man TELL her about it? Or did she used to live there too?

Monday, March 9, 2009

A revisit to season 1

1. Locke gave Sayid his compass after he and Boone found the hatch, apparently thinking he didn't need it any more. Sayid discovers that it doesn't actually point north, Jack confirms this. Did Richard Alpert have this thing in the future? Was there something more to the compass at all? I read a theory tonight about how in season 2, once Mr. Eko arrives, there is a lot of business about looking up and going north. . . and how the island has to keep corralling Locke back in line to keep him on the right track, which is apparently to The Others (in a northward direction).

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Lost season 5

I love it.
LOVE it.

My thoughts are seeming to be correct about how this really is all about Jack and the old man. John Locke I think, may or may not be "the leader," but my prediction is that John will either stay dead or fail, and it will really come down to Jack in the end. As in, can you take the leap of faith? Can you leave your ridiculously scientific thought processes and just realize that there is more to life than that? Christian told John how to get Jack back, couldn't help him physically, but also told him that he, John, NOT BEN was supposed to move the island. How is Ben involved in all this? Is he out? Just trying to weasel his way back onto the island? Of course he would be manipulating everything in order to engineer his own favorable outcome. . . but why was his face all bitched up when he called Jack? And if he somehow coerced Kate into going to Jack's to screw him and get knocked up I am going to be very, very upset. I'm sure he somehow got a hold of Aaron, held him for ransom, had been secretly charting Kate's menstrual cycle and then forced her to go and put out. Widmore? What is WITH that guy? What is his interest in the island? That guy seems to have everything he needs, there must be some secret between him and Ben that he needs the ability to time travel back to the island for, some deep, dark vendetta that needs avenging. Perhaps a woman?

Penelope and Desmond are going to be a factor, I think. What of the babies? Aaron, Charlie, Sun's daughter?

Everyone had a different mixed-up identity when they got on that plane again. Hurley had a guitar, as if he were Charlie (Drive Shaft). Sayid was in cuffs, as if he were Kate. Kate may or may not be knocked up, as if she were Claire. John Locke is in the hold, in his casket, wearing Doc Shephard's shoes. FRANK LAPIDIS IS THE GODDAMNED PILOT!

"We're not going to Guam, are we. . . " followed by a grimace.

Of course that damned note would be the catalyst for the actual transformation. It kept following him! I about cried when Jack read what it said.

I just watched it again for the 2nd time. Thomas the Apostle? Has to put his hands inside the wounds in order to believe? Then, according to history went on to become the most widespread Apostle to branch out from the promised land? (dies a martyr, somewhere in India?) Jack is beginning to believe?

Somehow, they got Kate, Sayid, and Hugo onto that plane by telling them that Jack was going to die or something. Kate is all distant and awkward, Hugo has a hard time maintaining eye contact, Sayid looks as if he really wants to tell Jack something. . . Sun probably doesn't care either way.

Ben's mother did NOT teach him to read. Didn't she die giving birth to him?

And was that little "scuffle" that Ben was in before the flight something to do with Widmore? Wasn't his last promise something along the lines of I'M GOING TO KILL YOUR DAUGHTER? He mentioned before leaving the church that he was going to do something, something he'd promised an old friend?

This is getting a bit obsessive.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

My areas of expertise

If I would have gone legitimate as a film scholar, I would have become the go-to girl on cheesy 80s films, focusing mostly on comedy but also including the horror genre. This may still happen one day. Here's the list of what I would deem myself an authority on:

1. Porky's
2. Porky's 2, The Next Day
3. Porky's Revenge
4. Mannequin
5. Desperately Seeking Susan
6. The Legend of Billie Jean
7. Sixteen Candles
8. The Breakfast Club
9. The Naked Gun
10. For Keeps
11. Caddyshack
12. Big Business
13. Clue
14. Soapdish
15. The Blues Brothers
16. St. Elmo's Fire
17. Less Than Zero

1. Fright Night
2. The Lost Boys
3. Halloween, 1, 2, and 3
4. Cujo
5. Christine
6. Creepshow
7. Carrie
8. Friday the 13th, 1, 2, 3, Final Chapter, New Beginning, Jason Lives, and New Blood
9. Nightmare on Elm Street, 1, 2, and 3
10. Children of the Corn

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

backlog. . .

Ahhhhh! I can't keep up anymore!

1. Lost is amazing. I can't believe CHARLES WIDMORE WAS ON THE ISLAND! This just keeps getting better and better. My thought on the end of the series: some sort of test of faith for Jack. John Locke will try and fail, Jack will have to abandon his scientific thought processes and there we'll all be.

2. 24 is amazing. This last episode was the best one I've ever seen. Jack crashing the Expedition into Vossler's car? Then punching him right in the face through the window? Perfect.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Technorati Profile

Lost Season 5 and 24 episode 4

LOST: fine. A good enough beginning. Kate kind of overreacted to the whole blood test thing, which I'm sure was engineered by Benjamin Linus somehow. Sun, I just feel kind of blah about. So getting revenge is more important than spending time with your daughter? Take a lesson from Beatrix Kiddo: sit in a hotel room, spend your money, and don't look back.

Sayid is the Iraqi Jack Bauer. I love it.

24: That killing of Samantha Roth was unnecessarily brutal. What luck that the secret service guy happened to catch a less than ideal position on the fall over the railing! Now if that first gentleman knows ANYTHING he'll call his WIFE and get someone outside the secret service over the ASAP to see the kid dead with this elaborate scheme all laid out and rubber gloves and plastic wrap still on his person.

I am starting to think that ETHAN is the rat inside the oval office. It obviously won't be the secretary that resigned but someone she thinks is on her side; he fits the bill. Plus he was the corrupt warden in The Shawshank Redemption, some stereotypes you just can't escape. . .

Jack needs to stop being tender with Renee Walker. She honestly believes the FBI ISN'T INFILTRATED? Like David Lynch said about the Iphone. . . GET REAL.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Favorite 80s Movie Ever

24 Season 7 episode 3

So Jack and Tony storm the embassy to get the prime minister and Prez Taylor is torn about her decision to invade Sengala. I guess I didn't miss THAT much when the cable went out.

This week: Is anyone else having a difficult time buying the whole bit with the "First Gentleman" and this ridiculous plot that killed his son? I mean, yes, I'm sure he's correct in assuming there was foul play, but the secret service just takes him out too? TWO SUICIDES WITHIN MONTHS OF EACH OTHER, IN TIHE PRESIDENT'S FAMILY? Come on.

Also: the writers are painting a clear picture of how INCOMPETENT the FBI and AG offices are. This is every show, every season, every time. We have major issues to deal with but we really want to talk about how this random traffic law got broken or how the warrant wasn't issued in time, etc., etc. How could anyone take this seriously working for the government? You want the problem solved or do you want to sit here and talk about RULES and LAWS? Sorry, we couldn't arrest CHESTER THE MOLESTER in time because Agent Stupes McGee over here tripped over his shoelace and dropped the warrant into the sewer and it took us 12 hours to get a new one. . . .

Jack shooting Renee: Of course he'd have some "secret" way of doing it to make it look like he killed her. I mean, to be fair, he put a bulletproof onto Nina in anticipation of having to do the same thing to her back in season one, but Jack's been around since then, he has his ways. Her blinking eyes through the plastic covering while they were shoveling dirt onto her were a little disturbing but at least she got to live. Obvs Tony is privvy to this also. . . Great morbid ending. She even got a silent clock!

1. in the oval office
2. in the secret service
3. in the FBI?

There seem to be more rats this time around than normal people.

Sunday, January 18, 2009


1. The last half of Bauer didn't record properly on the dvr because Fox HD apparently quits working on Sunday and Monday nights if you get comcast. Jerks. Matt chatted with some lame-o tech for like an hour where all they could recommend was that we PING our box. Yeah, No.
So horror of horrors, we'll have to start recording and watching it in regular definition.

2. Sex and the City. The episode with "sexpectations" in the title: Carrie tries to bang Burger and it goes poorly, Samantha picks up Smith Jerrod in the restaurant, Miranda loves her Tivo, and Charlotte becomes a Jew: blah. Miranda actually looked the hottest. I kept wishing Carrie would fall over something and get a huge black eye when she was trying to be seductive and was all drunk.

3. In between this, Soul Food, and John and Kate Plus Eight, I kept flipping back to MIGHTY APHRODITE. Seriously a really funny movie but there are so many uncomfortable moments throughout that I had to change the channel: anytime Helena Bonham Carter said ANYTHING because she was so rambling and nervous and her Mia Farrow-esque American accent was really grating on me, and any scene which included Michael Rappaport doing anything at all. Ugh. Mira Sorvino is so excellent in this, genius.

4. LASTLY: That goddamned skit on SNL with Kristin Wiig playing GILLY? I about barfed. She's hilarious but this last one was so physically gross I had to look away a few times. GAG.

Monday, January 12, 2009

24 Season 7 Premiere, part 1

1. I seriously think the confidence and paranoia surrounding the economy and state of the nation has been in the crapper the last two years because Jack Bauer took such a long hiatus. People need to know that there is someone (even if he's fictional) out there who can save us. I'm not kidding.

2. I knew Tony wasn't dead. I KNEW IT. Furthermore, I knew he would come back as a bad guy. I have proof of this in my myspace blogs from 2006.

3. Janine? So far, so good. I didn't really think I'd dig her, especially in THIS show, where she seemed a little out of place. That said, WHERE THE HELL IS CHLOE? Did CTU really get disbanded? What gives?

4. "I'm gonna enjoy this. . . " grabbing the pen and getting it ready to stick into Gabriel Shecter's eye? Thank God. Jack is fine when he's all controlled and reserved, but it's good to know the good old Jack still exists, deep down.

5. Always: "I THINK THAT'S THE WRONG MOVE." No one else knows what they're doing. Jack is the only one with any knowledge.

6. Am I the only one sitting here wondering how George W. Bush got through major issues like this? As in, how in the world would he have had the abstract thought to not only process information but then ask the necessary questions in regard to how to handle them, what the next move should be, etc.? I just don't see it happening, like AT ALL.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Jack's Daddy Issues

So what gives with Dr. Christian Shephard being so instrumental on the island? First he leads Jack to water but then it's revealed that the casket was empty? My question is, did the ticket agent at the airport totally pull a fast one and simply board the casket (after all, Jack insisted that THE COFFIN had to be on the plane and said really nothing regarding the corpse of his father that technically should have been inside THAT) without the body, did the body somehow fly out in all the chaos during the crash or has Dr. S just randomly taken to walking around the island in all his deadness, body and all?

What link does Christian have with the island that makes him important enough to be the new Jacob in season 4, telling Locke to MOVE THE ISLAND?!?!?!? They better explain this.