Monday, January 3, 2011

Freeway and a surprise.

Freeway, 1996, directed and written by Matthew Bright.
starring: Reese Witherspoon, Kiefer Sutherland.

"A twisted take on 'Little Red Riding Hood' with a teenage juvenile delinquent on the run from a social worker traveling to her grandmother's house and being hounded by a charming, but sadistic, serial killer/pedophile." (IMDB).

Ugh. This is definitely the most disturbing thing on the list. I know it's kind of dismissive of me but subject matters like this one really just send me packing, I can't handle it. I saw this when it first came out, probably on HBO, and completely missed the Little Red Riding Hood references (the most ridiculous? Kiefer's character, the disgusting villain, named BOB WOLVERTON, just slightly less ridiculous than Vanessa (Witherspoon) taking her things in a basket, complete with red-checked napkin over the top). Jeez.

It was just too taboo, this taking advantage of people's vulnerability and innocence. And since Jack Bauer is one of my top five favorite characters, ever, I really hate anything that disgraces Kiefer and this takes the proverbial cake in that department. True, he picked the role, but seriously. Yuck.

The Surprise?
Just One of the Guys, 1985, directed by Lisa Gottlieb, written by Dennis Feldman.
starring Joyce Hyser, Clayton Rohner, and William Zabka.

"Terry Griffith has got it all -- looks, popularity, the perfect college boyfriend, and an article that's a shoo-in to win her a summer internship at the local newspaper..." (IMDB).

One for Jack. . . 
I like the people in this, so even though the acting is *terrible*, it's still fun to watch. First off, William Zabka? Always a good business decision. You'll remember him from The Karate Kid or my personal favorite, European Vacation. Secondly, Clayton Rohner and Deborah Goodrich (Rick and Deborah) would later go on to star together in April Fool's Day; it was fun to see them in more innocent roles here. Sherilyn Fenn (Audrey Horne) makes an appearance (although this seems to be well before she went and got her teeth capped); she's always fun.  And while the writing is clenchingly bad, there are some giggles, mostly from the sex-obsessed brother. Terry's voice ("huh-huh. Just Finished.")   The general package of her acting like a boy. The constant mentioning of "MY ARTICLE!"
This shit is so bad, it's good. Make sure you have booze, though.


Anonymous said...

lol "my article."

did you watch tuff turf yet?? seriously, you have not lived!

altman's 3 women for goodness and awesome WENDY acting!! (this is actually a great movie but has some intense 70s stuff going down).

Donald said...

OMG! I forgot all about that Freeway movie. That used to be on TV all the time when I was in college. That's the weirdest damn movie. Piece of shit.

But Just One of the Guys is the Citizen Kane of secret-identity 80s movies. I loved that when I was a kid, especially the tits.

And don't forget that Zabka was also the same bully in Back to the School.

Justin Garrett Blum said...

Yeah, what Donald said about Freeway. I'm not sure I ever watched it, but I had enough opportunities.

Just One of the's weird that I've seen that movie a few times. I have no excuse except that it was the 80s.

Anna said...

What is Tuff Turf? Does it belong on the bad list?

Anna said...

there was a lot of buzz on this one when it first came out on video, in our town anyway. you had to rent videos at the grocery store for a while there. and the cover was naughty (her holding the helmet to cover her breasts) so of course we were all over it. . . that and porky's, with the eye looking through the peep hole into the shower.