Sunday, January 3, 2010

Absolutely. Fricking. Brilliant.

I think it should surprise NO ONE that this glorious film achievement was written by none other than JOHN HUGHES. Of course it was. Director Amy Heckerling (Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Clueless, etc.)? Also one of my favorites. I think if I would have gone into film back in the late 90s, these two would have been my best friends (besides JJ Abrams).

One for Clark, one for Rusty, ONE FOR JACK. . . one for Clark.

Let's just count the genius moments in this film:
1. John Astin (game show host) totally MAKING OUT with Audrey/Audrey's rapid fist-pumping dance when they race out onto the stage after winning grand prize

2. "Oh kids, I've saved the best surprise for last." "WE'RE TURNING AROUND AND GOING HOME!"

3. Audrey's food dream.

4. "The hills are alive with the sound of Griswalds. This shit's been around for a very long time. . ."

5. DO YOU WANT THAT IN THE CAN? "No, I'll take it right here."

6. "Do you wanna watch cheese or snow?"


8. Holy SHIT! Is that dude from the bathroom (who almost jumps into the tub with Ellen) FRICKING **HAGRID?**
OMG> HE TOTALLY IS! I just looked up Robbie Coltrane and he is listed as MAN IN THE BATHROOM on the film credits for European Vacation! I KNEW he looked familiar!!! Wow!

9. okay, well, bathroom scene with Hagrid and Ellen, juxtaposed with bedroom scene with Clark and the blond Englishwoman. "Ellen, honey, when did you quit shaving your legs?" "For Christ's sake, they don't even put numbers on the goddamned doors!"

10. The **vehicle** they drive (orange hornet-shaped mobile) through France and Germany.


12. "He may pork her Russ, just eat."

13. "Dear Audrey, I miss the shit outta you. Luckily Debbie's been coming by to cheer me up." "THAT BITCH!!"

14. "My family and I are looking for sex." "Schweinhund!!"

15. "Hey look, Dad, BED PANS!!"

16. The entire German folk dance scene and chase.

17. The entire train ride when they are all annoying each other with different actions.

18. "Debbie? AUDREY. Listen, we got a little score to settle and you know what I mean, so if you wanna salvage the last bit of our friendship you'll do me this favor: Yeah, I need you to book me on a Pan-Am flight outta Rome, into Chicago, TODAY! Yeah, I'll hold. Bitch!"

I saw this film IN THE THEATER with my parents, and my cousins and uncle. I believe my brother was along, so in 1985 I would have been 9 and he would have been 6. And people wonder why we're twisted.