Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Let's Just Calm Down.

Holy Effin' TUT. Did anyone else see Bauer last night?

I mean, I know he was pissed, but JEEEEEEEEEEEZ. That was the most disturbing episode of 24 or really anything on television that I've ever seen. Now that I think back on this whole final season, I think it's safe to say that pretty much everything that's happened has been disturbing. Granted, we had some comic relief with Hassan's Esai Morales pomp and of course, The Platypus scurrying around with her webbed feet and eggs in the mud, but damn.

1. Renee getting acquaintance-raped by the Russian.
2. Before that, Renee just slicing off that random shop keeper's finger. Or was it his whole hand?

3. Kim Bauer, again on the show.
4. The fact that they named that little girl TERRY. Okay, that's not really disturbing, but it's cheesy and annoying, so a checkmark nonetheless.

5. The execution of Hassan. Not just because we no longer get to see his pomp, but that his death was brutal and disturbing, and we all know their motivation was a Daniel Pearl-type situation, which is horrible and I thought a bit too harsh and violent for network television.

6. Renee's death was unpleasant as well, but for other reasons. Obviously she was Jack's last thread to civilization and her biting it was the straw that was going to break his back. The fact that he was all disheveled and barefoot in the hospital was also unsettling. Jack Bauer just should not be barefoot.

7. Okay, THAT DAMNED ASSASSIN DEATH SUIT THAT HE PUT ON TO GET LOGAN IN? Um, when that shit came on I can only describe my reaction as backing away slowly from the television and from 24 altogether. Really? That was fricking SCARY. Logan, though he kind of deserved everything he got, and his horrified shriek, "IT'S JACK BAUER!!!" Dude. I think in that state of mind Jack could have offed his own daughter and not even broken his stride. Hmm.

8. Are they going to execute Bauer, crimes against humanity? I mean I don't have much time to waste on 24 theories with LOST on immediately the day after, but how exactly are they going to wrap this up? Taylor is going down. Yuri Suvarov is going down. THEY SHOULD HAVE JUST KEPT AARON PIERCE ON AS SECRET SERVICE. Things never would have gotten this messed up if he had been around.

9. I think there needs to be a spinoff with Aaron Pierce just corralling all the stupidity in the US government, don't you?