Spartacus Finale, Oscars, Contest Winner.

I'll miss you, G.

1. Gods of the Arena Finale:

Congratulations, cast, crew, and creators of Spartacus, GOTA, your prequel was every bit as enjoyable as Blood and Sand, and the finale one of the best things all winter. I won't spoil anything about the ending, but really, I didn't see that one coming at all. Swoon, Gannicus (Dustin Clare). You're no Andy Whitfield, but you're something else, and you done good, son.

Oenomaus and Crixus? Looking forward to seeing you in 2012. And for the record, I loved the scenes in the finale when Lucretia first mentions shaving his beard and cutting his hair, then moments later just before the final battle, "CRIXUS! YOU'RE FIRST!" and we get a delicious look at the results . . . (!) Nicely done.


2. The Oscars.

As many of you probably already know, nothing pains me more than having to be a Debby Downer, (!) but was last night's award ceremony some sort of experiment in an Intro to Writing Awards Show class or something? Jeeeeesus Christ (as my old man used to say), would it kill you to hire an actual writer for something this major, or maybe some *experienced emcees?* I think Anne Hathaway was actually really trying quite hard, so, you know, good job there, but she and James Franco were horribly dull, not funny, and annoying all at once. Who wrote those intros? They were awful. If I were an emcee I would have complained. "We are fortunate to be able to breathe the same air as our next guest?" (! ! ! !) I doubt you'd come across anything that cheesy in a Stephanie Meyer novel! Those vignettes (opening segment where James and Anne are inserted into each Best Picture nominee, the auto-tune shit? The final Best Picture montage)---I've seen student films that had more talent and know-how.

What an enormous boner-kill. But congratulations to the winners, not only for nabbing the awards but for surviving that despicable program. Boo.

3. Oscar Fun Contest Winner: Elyssa Castillo, who correctly predicted *all* winners! (My husband also predicted all winners, but Elyssa submitted her answers first, so the prize is hers). Nice Job! I'm thinking of another contest for Mafia March, coming up, so stay tuned!!!!

Anna Quindlen and Spartacus.

Strange bedfellows, I know, but I don't want to be one of those annoying bloggers that posts things every 30 seconds. My annoying bits will come all at once, thank you.

1. Rise and Shine, by Anna Quindlen, 2006.

I don't really know why I had this; maybe my mother left it here. In any case, I was trying really hard to make it through my Thomas Mann Reader (that I started back in October) but seeing as my nightly routine usually involves at least a couple alcoholic beverages after I eat and come down here to try and write, and then a bath with whatever book I'm reading; the concentration factor was a little lacking these last few weeks . . . I kept zoning out in the tub and then squinting and trying really hard to concentrate on Death in Venice, telling myself that I owe it to myself to have read this . . . Finally I just said FUCK IT this is too heady right now. I'll come back to it again later. And then I picked this up instead.

It was fine, I guess. Not exactly my cup of tea, but competent. She seems to be very descriptive and good with words, so good job there, but here's my thing: Wordy people need to be either funny (Diablo Cody) or I don't know, edge-y (Quentin Tarantino) for me to really say I enjoy their writing. She was just wordy. That's all I can say.

2. How Reading Changed My Life, 1998, by Anna Quindlen.

See? This is probably an example of what will happen to me someday. I'll absolutely shred myself trying to roll out decent, intelligent fiction or media criticisms but people will really only want to hear about my non-ficitonal past and a day in the life of four kids and the 3493898988 fecal incidents that accompany such a lifestyle. People love writers with a flare for describing fecal incidents.

I liked this a lot. I LOVE TO HEAR PEOPLE TALK ABOUT BOOKS, it just makes me happy. And I love reading lists. It could be a complete works of Larry the Cable Guy list and I would still love it just because it was a list of books. And what I was getting at up there before was that fiction writers are usually really gifted at telling their own stories, and I was far more interested in this (of Quindlen's) than the other title.

3. ON BATIATUS: (spoilers, a lot).

So clearly, I've had a little wine, there's a full moon, and I love *everyone* right now, but I've been meaning to say this for a while, now.

Spartacus has really excellent emotional exchanges.

-Lucretia loves Quintus enough to murder his disapproving father. "Tell me I was wrong about you."
"You were wrong. I am far worse."
-Quintus loves Lucretia enough to leave the Ludus with nothing, to give up everything to be with her.
-Gannicus! Being champion gladiator and engaging in drunken three ways fall to the wayside once he falls in love with Melitta. That whole relationship shift between them completely gives me chills. (RIP, Melitta).
-in Blood and Sand, Spartacus OVERTAKES THE HOUSE OF BATIATUS to avenge his wife's death. "Was she really such a woman?" Mira asks him. "She was the sun."
-in Blood and Sand Crixus, the former champion gladiator cries openly to Naevia, "I have ruined us!"
This entire show is an exercise in denied love.

Hot, Crixus, but please do *something* with that mop. . .

Finale next week. :(

Spartacus Love Triangle

Oenemaus? How you doin'?

Is anyone else watching Gods of the Arena? Hot, hot, HOT!






Despite the fact that I love the fighting, love the debauchery, and I love Quintus shouting, "HOUSE OF BATIATUS" every thirty seconds, the thing that's got me hooked is the love triangle between Oenomaus (Doctore), Mellita (his wife), and Gannicus.


Man, they were friends! This is serious!

It's so extremely well done that I'm scared for how it's going to end, and actually sitting here obsessing over it now. And as much as this pains me, I won't spoil it for anyone else by revealing any of the details, just know that it's really excellent.

Now There's a GLADIATOR!

Spartacus, Gods of the Arena: PAST TRANSGRESSIONS


I'll say. This was amazing; an extremely visceral episode. The blood. The urine. The whips. The opium! What an opening!

Newcomers cast:
Dustin Claire as Gannicus
Jaime Murray (Lila from Dexter) as Gaia
I can't find proof of it yet, but I think Jango Fett is playing the Doctore. . .

Well done. A reckless, boozing, womanizing, bad boy for a champion is kind of fun; his resemblance to Colin Farrell doesn't hurt things in the least. And though I long for even a promise of Andy Whitfield down the road, seeing the history of the characters' relationships before Spartacus's time, even in this one episode, was awesome. Talk about the tables turning! Ashur WAS a Gladiator. Crixus! A meek slave! Batiatus, pissed on in the street! And that magistrate? He's a slippery snake, he is. Sex was *wild,* even by last season's standards. Wow.

I'll be tuning in next Friday.