Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Mutant Chronicles.

The Mutant Chronicles, 2008, directed by Simon Hunter.
starring: Thomas Jane. Ron Perlman, John Malkovich.

"28th century soldier Mitch Hunter leads a fight against an army of underworld Mutants." (IMDB).

Well, the best thing I can say about this? It's clear that someone, somewhere involved in this production was trying hard to do something. What, I don't know. The only thing that kept me going were the ridiculous kill scenes and random deaths going on; after each I would comment, "Well, at least *their* troubles are over. I, on the other hand, have to keep watching this truck of garbage."

It's silly. And the (tak!) Cop from Desperation is parading around as some sort of holy man or sage leader in a blood red cape; I'm sure this is relevant to something, somewhere, like a bishop or Spartacus connection or something, but after about three minutes I quit trying to think about anything that was happening because it was all literally cheesier than a Michael Bay film.

Something nice: I caught the obvious nod to Paths of Glory at the opening and appreciated it: trenches, rounds exploding, viewing (the anthill?) in binoculars. And the concept of the continents being ruled by corporations was actually kind of clever and cool, they should have just focused on that, IMHO. How the hell did they sign Malkovich onto this waste?