Thursday, January 6, 2011

The Mutant Chronicles.

The Mutant Chronicles, 2008, directed by Simon Hunter.
starring: Thomas Jane. Ron Perlman, John Malkovich.

"28th century soldier Mitch Hunter leads a fight against an army of underworld Mutants." (IMDB).


Well, the best thing I can say about this? It's clear that someone, somewhere involved in this production was trying hard to do something. What, I don't know. The only thing that kept me going were the ridiculous kill scenes and random deaths going on; after each I would comment, "Well, at least *their* troubles are over. I, on the other hand, have to keep watching this truck of garbage."

It's silly. And the (tak!) Cop from Desperation is parading around as some sort of holy man or sage leader in a blood red cape; I'm sure this is relevant to something, somewhere, like a bishop or Spartacus connection or something, but after about three minutes I quit trying to think about anything that was happening because it was all literally cheesier than a Michael Bay film.

Something nice: I caught the obvious nod to Paths of Glory at the opening and appreciated it: trenches, rounds exploding, viewing (the anthill?) in binoculars. And the concept of the continents being ruled by corporations was actually kind of clever and cool, they should have just focused on that, IMHO. How the hell did they sign Malkovich onto this waste?

3 comments:

Donald said...

I remember being really confused when this came out. I remember thinking that it must be somehow related to the X-Men, what with the Mutant thing in the title. Also, I'm pretty sure Marvel used to publish a title that was vaguely similar to Mutant Chronicles.

But then it just turned out to be based on some pen and paper role playing game. I never saw it. In fact, I've never even seen a trailer for it. Did it ever actually go to theaters?

television lady said...

pen and paper role playing? you'd think they could come up with a better premise. something with the corporation-continents, like a hyped up RISK might be cool, but forget this. unless you need a sleep aid.

Justin Garrett Blum said...

Why has Ron Perlman been in so much shit? He's too cool to be constantly making bad movies.

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