Monday, January 10, 2011

Bedazzled. Christing Ya-Ya.

Bedazzled, 2000, directed by Harold Ramis. Written by Peter Cook.
starring: Brendan Fraser, Elizabeth Hurley

"Hopeless dweeb Elliot Richards is granted 7 wishes by the devil to snare Allison, the girl of his dreams, in exchange for his soul." (IMDB).

This was silly, but there were moments that I laughed. And honestly I'll give anything a shot if it's about the Devil. I do think that Elizabeth Hurley was either miscast in her role (the devil) or they overwrote the character if they had her in mind for it. She's obviously attractive and has this kind of low, seductive voice that I thought they should have spot-lighted, instead they had her kind of giggly and impish. Brits just shouldn't be Americanized, that's all there is to it.

Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, 2002, directed by Callie Khouri. Written by Rebecca Wells.
starring: Ashley Judd, Sandra Bullock, Ellen Burstyn.

"After years of mother-daughter tension, Siddalee receives a scrapbook detailing the wild adventures of the "Ya-Yas", her mother's girlhood friends." (IMDB).

This ranks extremely high on this list I've got going here; it might not be the worst film ever made but it's definitely the dumbest. I honestly cannot believe anyone would dig this, it's an insult to every woman that ever lived.

1. Those scenes with the little girls (ya-ya's) would have been extremely cheesy even in a kid's film. This sort of thing is the exact reason most people think women shouldn't direct films or write books. QUIT IT. And I know Callie Khouri can write as she did just fine with Thelma and Louise. She didn't write this but she chose to direct it. Bad idea.

2. Everyone's character was a complete caricature and despite this, I believed exactly none of them in their respective roles.

3. For the character of Vivianne (played by both Ashley Judd and Ellen Burstyn), just what exactly was her beef in life? Was it that she just always needed the spotlight? That her boyfriend died in the war? That she couldn't handle motherhood? That her own mother was jealous of her? If the answer is any of these things, I still could not care one bit less what the hell her deal was, I couldn't stand her from the beginning. I mean I didn't like anyone at all in the entire film, but Vivianne was unlikable with a vengeance. You hate your husband and kids, fine. You want to leave them, fine. You beat your kids with belts, fine. Then years later you think you're justified in getting upset because your daughter says she had an unhappy childhood? This is what is known as "paying the fiddler" YOU RABBIT MOTHER.

4. I tend to allow Ellen Burstyn a very small window of tolerance, normally, since her portrayal of Sarah Goldfarb (Requiem for a Dream) in addition to being extremely well done was the inspiration for my online moniker Television Lady. Obviously I don't have anything in common with the character as I'm not an old Jewish broad, I don't have a red dress, and I'm not popping amphetamines (yet) but I can see myself someday yammering on about how I'm going to be on television though, and it's one of my all-time favorite roles. She deserved the Oscar that year but lost out to someone she and the other nominees (in the words of my friend HCV) "acted circles around," Julia Fricking Roberts for Erin Brockovich. I consider this to be pretty much the world's biggest pisser.

Be all that as it may, she should have known better than to take up with this truck of garbage and it makes me not like her for it. What a mess.

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