Thursday, December 9, 2010

Minutes from Pearl Harbor, part one.

There are TWO son-of-a-bitchin' disks on this thing. Two.
M. Night Shyamalan is looking pretty good right now. . .

Matt walks into the room:
Matt: What the hell is this?
Me: Pearl Harbor.
Matt: What? Why?
Me: It's still the shit fest, you know.
Matt: (groan). I wanted to watch that documentary on black metal.

A few minutes later, Jon Voight comes on.
Matt: Who the hell is that?
Me: Jon Voight. He's FDR.
Matt: Nice makeup. He looks like Fat Bastard.

What seems like hours later, the actual "battle scenes" begin. (Lines and lines of cheesy, odious dialogue).
Me: Can you mute it, please?
Matt: (acts as if I've said nothing).

More horrible dialogue. I am cringing and have my eyes closed.
Me: Please. Mute it. Can we just watch the rest of this on mute?
Matt: (giggles). You wanted a shit fest.
Me: Can you at least turn it way down, like WAY down, then, please?

INTERMISSION comes up on the screen. There is another goddamned disk of this yet to be watched.